Conflict

Conflict

Conflict is part of life.

It's important that we disagree sometimes.

We're all different...

...FOR A REASON!

We have different ways of looking at things, different ways of doing things, and different ideas.

THIS IS A GOOD THING!

If nobody ever challenged us or questioned us, and we all thought the same way, we'd never have any new ideas. Conflict is often the road to new and better ideas for all of us.

The problem is...

A simple conflict (also known as a disagreement) that could lead to something NEW and INTERESTING, can sometimes escalate into argument, a fight, or even war.

This often happens when people have poor listening skills or aren't able to recognize and manage their emotions very well.

Closed-Minded People

have a difficult time learning because they are convinced that they know everything already. When we're being close-minded (all of us are sometimes) we refuse to listen to new information that goes against what we already think. The amusing thing is that we think we're being strong, but we're usually just afraid of something.

Open-Minded People

have the self-confidence to listen to new information. When we're being open-minded, we learn new things and begin to understand others better. We can be open-minded and still disagree, but we listen and try to understand. Being open-minded takes courage. Courage helps us admit that we don't know everything or that maybe we were wrong about something. This is how we grow.

Conflict Resolution

Here are some ways to handle conflict. Pick which ways are healthy and which are unhealthy.

Multiple Choice

Compromise: Each person gives in a little bit. We share or split the difference. We might not get everything we wanted, but at least we get something.

• Healthy

• Unhealthy

Multiple Choice

Avoid it: Instead of trying to work things out, we complain or gossip to others.

• Healthy

• Unhealthy

Multiple Choice

Don't Sweat the Small Stuff: If it's something small, let it go. We know that things can escalate if we make a big deal out of something small and pointless, so we decide to move on.

• Healthy

• Unhealthy

Multiple Choice

Agree to Disagree: We can't reach an agreement, so we decide to say something like, "I hear you, I get it, I just see things differently. We'll have to agree to disagree on this."

• Healthy

• Unhealthy

Multiple Choice

Compete: [this is a tricky one, so I'm going to strongly hint at the correct answer]

One person "wins" and the other "loses". This is a pretty childish way of looking at conflict. Competition can be fun, and debate is an important way to learn things, however, when close-minded people are competing about who's "right" and who's "wrong", nobody listens to each other and disagreements turn into angry arguments or fights.

Competition is great for games and sports, but in conflicts it's...

• Healthy

• Unhealthy

Multiple Choice

Apologize: Guess what? Sometimes we're wrong or mistaken and we need to admit that, apologize, and talk it out. Humans aren't perfect and you are a human.

• Healthy

• Unhealthy

Multiple Choice

Express your Feelings: Sometimes a conflict can't be resolved, but it still might be important to get our point of view across. In that case, we can use statements that begin with something like "I feel ______." or "I think _______."

These are powerful statements because nobody can argue with how you feel or what you think.

• Healthy

• Unhealthy

Multiple Choice

Win Win: We use creativity and work together to come up with a solution that works 100% for both of us. Even better than compromise; everybody gets what they want. This takes patience, being able to manage our emotions, and keeping an open mind.

• Healthy

• Unhealthy

Multiple Choice

Steer Clear: There are rare occasions when a conflict might not be worth it because of potential violence or danger. Sometimes in the moment our feelings tell us that the conflict is worthwhile, and then afterward we regret it. "Steer Clear" tells us to take a breath and re-assess the situation when we're calm.

• Healthy

• Unhealthy

THANK YOU!!

Have a great summer.