R Factor Press Pause

R Factor Press Pause

by Alexander James (incomplete)

​Situational Awareness

​We can only plan our R as well as we understand the situation. A great deal of empathy as well as other skills are useful here.

Some potential problems....

​Spotlight effect

​Negativity Bias

​Confirmation Bias

Spotlight Effect implies that we

look at certain aspects

more than others. ​

Confirmation Bias termed on

our focusing on aspects of

the event that make us look better

*** Check your ego​

​

​Negativity Bias

​We have a tendency to see things that are bad

​focus on the negative

​

​Be sure we aren't seeing some good stuff in there and it isn't so bad as we might be leading ourselves to believe.

Pause Points

​It is important to not only pause but

to know the difference in WHEN one pauses

​

​* One pauses before events transpire

​* After the event has happened

​* After you have responded

​

​These are called Proactive, Situational and Reflective Pauses

Open Ended

Reflection: What are some things we can do to be sure we aren't looking at a wrong Spotlight, having a Negativity Bias or a Confirmation Bias?

​CHALLENGING QUESTIONS

• ​What do I not see that I need?

• ​

• ​What do I see but am discounting

• ​

• ​What am I pretending NOT to see

• ​

• ​How do others see this situation

​

​MANY series of self reflection

​questions are important: here are other challenging questions to ask

Open Ended

What is a time of when something has happened and you chose a wrong response, but would have been different if you'd had more information?

Open Ended

What other kind of questions could you ask of yourself more regularly to be better at seeing events more clear.

​PROACTIVE PAUSE

​With this pause you BEFORE events happen,

you consider some frequent events in your life

​

​MAKE A PLAN

​What are some responses that you've made in the past that do NOT work

​

​What are some responses you could make that will

EARN you to the an Outcome toward your goals

​

​What outcome do you want? What'll be the event? What's your response?

Fill in the Blank

When we chose our

Response _____ the Outcome

​SITUATIONAL PAUSE

​AS the event is happening be sure to think about the outcome AS the event is unfolding and perhaps even consider some of the four questions from the previous lesson.

​

​What do you not see that you need

​What do you see but are ignoring

​What are you pretending NOT to see

​What are others seeing about this situation

​

​Clarify your Outcome, consider how much time the Event gives you

​deliver your intentional Response

​Reflective Pause

​After you have responded, and likely responded to that response, you'll need to PRESS PAUSE again as or before the next event has happened. You will need to be a good listener, envision yourself as a good conversationalist, focus on their content.

​

​When you've time, how did your responses go?

​How might you change what you'd done? Will you get to do this again?

​

Open Ended

How can you compare 

'R - Press Pause'

to good listening skills?