Small talk

Small talk

Small talk is not a small thing.

No matter whom you interact with, friends or colleagues, even office small talk should be light and informal.

Some may consider it as useless talk aimed to fill the silence and avoid awkwardness, others see a strategic component in it.

That’s why small talk is an essential stage of a casual conversation.

Steps to making small talk:

5 main principles

Show a genuine interest

If you want to polish your conversational skills and find out how to make small talk effective, you have to dismiss any prejudice that this type of conversation is meaningless. Every new person you talk to within your life represents a new unique opportunity.

Every time you speak to a person you don’t know well, you have an excellent opportunity to develop and grow. Have a genuine interest in getting to know a person you’re talking to and learn from them. When you enjoy talking to someone, no talk feels like small talk.

Ask open-ended questions

Simple questions are generally followed by a one-word answer. On the other hand, open-ended small talk questions build up an exciting and dynamic conversation encouraging the person you’re speaking with to open up.

If you don’t want to be too pushy, you should start your conversation with simple questions.

The best way to make great small talk is to follow up simple questions with open-ended ones. 

Never talk about something too personal

When you begin a conversation, you know almost nothing about the person so it's better to choose topics common to both speakers.

The forbidden topics are the person’s health, religion, and political views.

The best subjects are:

• Weather

• Sports

• Shows and movies

• Art

• Your location or venue

• Food or cooking

• Hobbies

• Professional interests and responsibilities

Just keep your chatting light and ask questions about the interests, job, or surroundings.

Practice active listening

Active listening is a way of communication that involves consciously going into what another person is saying. If you pay attention to the speaker’s words, you’ll create much stronger connections.

Simple steps to help you become a better active listener :

• eye contact  

• avoid interrupting

• don’t offer unrequested advice, suggestions or solutions. 

• keep an open mind, no judgment and stereotypes.

• be patient while listening, keep yourself fully present and relaxed.

• ask questions during pauses to clarify what is said.

Put away your phone 

How to do small talk in the best way? Make the person feel important! In fact, there’s nothing more irritating than speaking with someone who is regularly checking their phone.