Taste of Revising

Multiple Choice

Read the following sentences:

(5) He graduated from Princeton University. (6) He served in the Marine Corps for two years.

Which is the MOST effective way to combine sentences 5 and 6?

• He served in the Marine Corp for two years and graduated from Princeton University.

• He graduated from Princeton University, he served in the Marine Corps for two years.

• After he graduated from Princeton University, he served in the Marine Corp for two years.

• He graduated from Princeton University he served in the Marine Corp for two years.

Multiple Choice

Read the following sentences:

(19) The Berlin wall fell in 1989. (20) James Baker helped to reunify Germany in 1990.

Which is the MOST effective way to combine sentences 19 and 20?

• The Berlin Wall fell in 1989, but James Baker helped to reunify Germany in 1990.

• The Berlin Wall fell in 1989, although James Baker helped to reunify Germany in 1990.

• James Baker helped to reunify Germany in 1990, the Berlin Wall fell in 1989.

• The Berlin Wall fell in 1989, and James Baker helped to reunify Germany in 1990.

Multiple Choice

Read the following paragraph:

(10) When his candidates won, James Baker served in prominent positions. (11) He accepted top roles. (12) After Ronald Reagan won in 1980, he appointed Baker to be his Chief of Staff. (13) In 1985, Baker became Secretary of the Treasury. (14) When George H.W.Bush became President, he made Baker his Secretary of State. (15) In this role, James Baker achieved feats that affected the entire world.

Which sentence in the paragraph repeats information and should be removed?

• Sentence 10

• Sentence 11

• Sentence 12

• Sentence 13

Multiple Choice

Cho needs to choose a more effective word to replace got in sentence 22. Complete sentence 22 by selecting the BEST word that belongs in the blank.

(22) He _____________ countries to fight together in the first Gulf War to drive Iraq out of Kuwai.

• forced

• united

• found

• observed

Multiple Choice

Read the following sentence:

(16) Ronald Reagan in front of the Berlin Wall gave a famous speech in 1987.

What is the MOST effective revision to make to this sentence?

• Ronald Reagan gave a famous speech in front of the Berlin Wall in 1987.

• In front of the Berlin Wall Ronald Reagan gave a famous speech in 1987.

• After 1987, Ronald Reagan gave a famous speech in front of the Berlin Wall.

• Ronald Reagan gave a famous speech under the Berlin Wall in 1987.

Multiple Choice

Read the following paragraph:

(1) Beavers are amazing builders. (2) They can cut tall trees to build dams. (3) They use their strong front teeth. (4) They build their dams on shallow areas of streams or rivers.

Which of the following is the BEST way to rewrite this paragraph in a clear and effective way.

• Beavers are amazing builders because they have strong front teeth. The teeth help them cut tall trees. They build their dams on shallow areas of streams or rivers using the cut up trees.

• Beavers are amazing builders. They have strong teeth which lets them cut tall trees and use them to build their dams on shallow areas of streams or rivers.

• Beavers are amazing builders. They have strong front teeth that allow them to cut tall trees. They use the wood to build their dams on shallow areas of streams or rivers.

• Beavers are amazing builders. They are able to cut tall trees using their strong front teeth, and they use them to build their dams on shallow areas of streams or rivers.

Multiple Choice

Complete sentence 11 by selecting the BEST transition word or phrase that belongs in the blank.

(10) Desperate to help Blackberry, my new baby goat, survive, I spent hours feeding her milk supplement, snuggling her against my warm body, and helping her get used to the world around her. (11) ___________, Blackberry, began to recognize my voice, and she would follow me around our acreage like a puppy.

• Therefore

• Finally

• Eventually

• After all

Multiple Choice

Read the following sentences:

(16) The sun was blazing down. (17) I could tell it was going to be a hot afternoon.

What is the best way to combine sentences 16 and 17?

• The sun was blazing down, and I could tell it was going to be a hot afternoon.

• The sun was blazing down, I could tell it was going to be a hot afternoon.

• The sun was blazing down, nevertheless I could tell it was going to be a hot afternoon.

• The sun was blazing down I could tell it was going to be a hot afternoon.

Multiple Choice

The following sentences should be combined to make a better sentence. Which is the best revision? 

(1) The bicycle tire is flat. (2) The bicycle tire is on the bike.

• The bicycle tire is on the bike and the bicycle tire is flat.

• The flat bicycle tire is on the bike.

• On the bike, the bicycle tire there is flat.

• The tire on the bicycle is flat.

Multiple Choice

Read the following sentences.

(3) The sun heats up water from oceans, lakes, and rivers. (4) The water turns into water vapor through a process called evaporation. (5) The water vapor then rises into the atmosphere, where it cools down and forms clouds through a process called condensation.

Which of the following is the best way to combine sentences 3 & 5 in a clear and effective way.

• When the sun heats up water from oceans, lakes, and rivers, the water turns into water vapor through a process called evaporation.

• The sun heats up water from oceans, lakes, and rivers, and then the water turns into water vapor through a process called evaporation.

• When the sun heats up water from oceans, lakes, and rivers, it turns into water vapor through a process called evaporation.

• After the sun heats it up from oceans, lakes, and rivers, it turns into water vapor through a process called evaporation.

Multiple Choice

Read the sentence:

(8) I really cried so hard the whole time I was watching the entire movie.

Which of the following words from the sentence is redundant.

• really

• whole

• hard

• entire

Multiple Choice

Read the following paragraph:

(19) At the back of the barn, I filled the bucket with water and began to slosh back to the pasture. (22) Glancing up, I felt a sensation of panic. (21) I couldn't see Blackberry, my goat. (22) As I ran to the gate, the sight that met my eyes was worse than anything I could have imagined. (23) Blackberry's collar was caught on the fence, and in her panic to escape, she got severely tangled in her lead rope. (24) It was wrapped around her neck and got tighter as she twisted and pulled. (25) She opened her mouth to bleat, but no sound came out. (26) I released the bucket of water and ran as fast as I could. (27) Then I caught a glimpse of Mom waving at me before she headed out to make her rounds on neighboring farms. (28) "Mom," I screamed. "Hurry and help me!"

Which sentence could best follow and support sentence 26?

• I wondered why my parents were always working and not around to help me.

• Water spilled all over my jeans and shoes.

• At the fence, I yanked on the lead rope, but no matter how hard I pulled, it wouldn't come loose.

• I'm sure I ran faster than my record cross-country race time.