revise and edit 3

(14) But to get an elephant tusk, some people ignore this law. (15) The number of elephants has dropped drastically. (16) In fact, the elephant population has decreased by about 90 percent in the last 40 years.

What is the BEST transition to add to the beginning of sentence 15? (use the close around the sentence)

• In the beginning

• In addition

• As a result

• However

Tags

CCSS.RI.2.5

CCSS.RI.3.5

CCSS.RI.4.5

CCSS.RI.5.5

CCSS.RI.6.5

(19) However, many people care about these animals and want to stop the illegal trade of elephant tusks. (20) Governments are trying to write bigger laws to protect the elephants.

The word bigger is not the right word for sentence 20. Which word should replace bigger in this sentence?

• larger

• taller

• stricter

• easier

Tags

CCSS.L.1.1F

CCSS.L.2.1E

Which sentence sounds the best to end a paper? (Think about the BEST details that flows!)

• With the combined efforts of many people, it’s quite possible that the amazing elephants will be saved from extinction.

• If the breeding programs work, there will be more elephants in zoos soon.

• Finally, the elephants that so many people love will survive, and it will probably be around for years to come.

• And that will be the end of the worries about elephants.

Tags

CCSS.W.5.1D

CCSS.W.5.2E

CCSS.W.5.4

Which sentence sounds the BEST one to introduce the life of Beverly Cleary?

• Beverly’s life story is a perfect example of a turn in life leading to great things.

• Beverly wrote the books in the Romona series and some movies have been made.

• Beverly had an interesting childhood and an even more interesting adulthood is what I think.

• Beverly is a person that you should like a lot, and I am going to tell you why in this paper.

Tags

CCSS.W.5.1A

CCSS.W.5.2A

What is the most effective way to combine sentences 8 and 9? (Which one is simple and flows best)

• He had a favorite book, since it was Romona Quimby Age 8.

• He had a favorite book and Romona Quimby Age 8.

• His favorite book was Beverly Cleary's Romona Quimby Age 8.

• He had a favorite book it was Beverly Cleary's Romona Quimby Age 8.

Tags

CCSS.L.2.1F

CCSS.L.3.1I

CCSS.L.1.1J

CCSS.L.7.1B

What is the most effective revision to make in sentence 20?

(Think which sentence sounds the BEST)

• All the while a regular kid had been thinking about a story.

• All the while she had been thinking of a story about a regular kid.

• All the while she had been thinking about a regular kid and a story.

• All the while she had been thinking of a story it was about a regular kid.

Tags

CCSS.L.3.1E

CCSS.L.4.1B

CCSS.L.5.1.B-D

CCSS.L.5.1D

CCSS.L.3.1D

(27) Readers ask Beverly stuff. How can this sentence be revised? What sounds the BEST?

• Readers sometimes ask Beverly why her books are so popular.

• There are readers who like to ask Beverly some stuff.

• Readers want Beverly to tell them more about his choices.

• The people who read the books want to know more.

Tags

CCSS.L.3.1E

CCSS.L.4.1B

CCSS.L.5.1.B-D

CCSS.L.5.1D

CCSS.L.5.1C

(5) Today these mountains served as a home for a type of deer called mule deer.

What change if any needs to be made to sentence 5?

• Change served to serve

• Change called to they are called

• Change the period to a comma

• No change is needed in sentence 5.

Tags

CCSS.L.3.1E

CCSS.L.4.1B

CCSS.L.5.1.B-D

CCSS.L.5.1D

CCSS.L.5.1C

(7) Many people come to the Rocky Mountains to see the deer and study his habits.

• Change come to coming

• Change and to they

• Change his to their

• No change needs to be made in sentence 7.

Tags

CCSS.L.3.1A

CCSS.L.6.1A

CCSS.L.6.1C

CCSS.L.6.1D

Mule deer have a black-tipped white tail and white patch on the rump weigh about 100 to 300 pounds, and are usually around 3 feet tall.

• Insert a comma after rump

• Change weigh to wiegh

• Change are usually around to were usually around

• No change should be made in sentence 9.

Tags

CCSS.L.4.2C

CCSS.L.6.2A