Concision in Writing

The X-15 ,a hypersonic rocket-powered aircraft operated by the U. S. Air Force, could reach speeds of up to as high as 4,520 miles per hour.

• No change.

• upwards and close to

• nearly

• nearly as high as

Tags

CCSS.L.3.1G

This past year, Bridgestone offered something unprecedented, as they introduced a new, high-spin golf ball that bites into greens like no other.

• No change

• new golf ball

• high-spin golf ball

Tags

CCSS.L.2.4D

Twice as many Japanese men as American men smoke, yet the deaths attributable to smoking are half as much as ours.

• No change.

• half as many as

• half the number

• half of

As a psychotherapist, I spend my days listening to men and women talk about their failures, their disappointments, their shame.

• No change.

• in the company of men and women hearing them

• hearing the thoughts of both men and women as they

• listening to all sorts of individuals and other people

Tags

CCSS.L.11-12.3A

CCSS.L.7.1C

My neighbor, who lives nearby, is extremely rude.

• No change.

• My neighbor is extremely rude.

• My nearby neighbor is rude.

Tags

CCSS.L.11-12.3A

CCSS.L.7.1C

There was a total of twenty-six punches that hit the losing boxer.

• No change.,

• A total of twenty-six punches hit the losing boxer.

• The losing boxer was punched twenty-six times.

Tags

CCSS.L.3.1A

CCSS.L.3.1D

The purpose of writing about literature may be to share your responses, provide knowledge and information about a real literary work, or evaluate a work in review.

• No change.

• provide information about a real literary work,

• provide information about a literary work,

Tags

CCSS.L.11-12.3A

CCSS.L.7.1C

As I listen, I can hear the chuckling and laughing as I walk down the crowded and overpopulated public streets of Chinatown.

• No change.

• I can hear the chuckling as I walk down the crowded and public streets of Chinatown.

• I can hear chuckling as I walk the crowded Chinatown streets.

Tags

CCSS.L.11-12.3A

CCSS.L.7.1C

In a reluctant manner, John held a lengthy and in-depth conversation with his teacher, and then John asked his teacher for advice.

• No change.

• Reluctantly, John spoke at length with his teacher, asking him for his advice.

• Reluctantly, John held a drawn-out and in-depth conversation with his teacher, and so he asked that teacher for advice.

Tags

CCSS.L.3.1A

CCSS.L.3.1G

CCSS.L.2.1E

That old lady's dogs have a habit of barking on nights during which the moon in the sky is full.

• No change.

• That lady's dogs have a habit of barking when we see a full moon in the night sky.

• That old lady's dogs habitually bark when the moon is full.

Tags

CCSS.L.3.1E

CCSS.L.4.1B

CCSS.L.5.1.B-D

CCSS.L.5.1C

CCSS.L.5.1D