STAAR Writing Review

Read the excerpt of this student’s paper about a child hero and look for any corrections that need to be made.

(1) How could a child be so brave? (2) Why had Hao risked his own life to save his fellow students? (3) Where was this courageous boy’s Mother? (4) When reporters questioned the young boy, Hao answered “I was the hall monitor. (5) It was my job to look after my classmates.”

What change needs to be made in sentence 3?

• Change where to were

• Change was to is

• Remove the apostrophe from boy’s

• Change Mother to mother

Read the excerpt of this student’s paper about a child hero and look for any corrections that need to be made.

(1) How could a child be so brave? (2) Why had Hao risked his own life to save his fellow students? (3) Where was this courageous boy’s Mother? (4) When reporters questioned the young boy, Hao answered “I was the hall monitor. (5) It was my job to look after my classmates.”

What change needs to be made in sentence 4?

• Change questioned to question

• Remove the comma after boy

• Change Hao to hao

• Insert a comma after answered

(1) Approximately four billion people watched the televised opening ceremonies of the 2008 Summer Olympics. (2) They saw an amazing show. (3) Amid lights and music, athletes from around the world marched into the huge stadium in Beijing, China. (4) A famous basketball player carried the Chinese flag named Yao Ming. (5) The seven-and-a-half-foot-tall superstar was a sight to behold but most viewers weren’t even looking at him. (6) They were watching the small boy who came into the stadium with the athlete. (7) The boy’s entrance brought enthusiastic cheers. (8) That’s because nine-year-old Lin Hao was more than just a kid.

What is the best way to combine sentences 1 and 2?

• Approximately four billion people watched the televised opening ceremonies of the 2008 Summer Olympics, they saw an amazing show.

• Approximately four billion people watched the televised opening ceremonies of the 2008 Summer Olympics, and they saw an amazing show.

• Approximately four billion people watched the televised opening ceremonies of the 2008 Summer Olympics, but they saw an amazing show.

• Approximately four billion people watched the televised opening ceremonies of the 2008 Summer Olympics; and they saw an amazing show.

(1) Approximately four billion people watched the televised opening ceremonies of the 2008 Summer Olympics. (2) They saw an amazing show. (3) Amid lights and music, athletes from around the world marched into the huge stadium in Beijing, China. (4) A famous basketball player carried the Chinese flag named Yao Ming. (5) The seven-and-a-half-foot-tall superstar was a sight to behold but most viewers weren’t even looking at him. (6) They were watching the small boy who came into the stadium with the athlete. (7) The boy’s entrance brought enthusiastic cheers. (8) That’s because nine-year-old Lin Hao was more than just a kid.

What change should be made in sentence 5?

• Insert a comma after superstar

• Change sight to site

• Insert a comma after behold

• Change viewers to viewer’s

(1) British filmmaker John downer wanted to capture some footage of jungle animals, but they can be difficult to film. (2) Jungle animals don’t usually let humans get very close to them, and they travel in places too dense for wildlife photographers to go. (3) Downer came up with a creative way to overcome these obstacles. (4) In a remote jungle in the heart of India, he used elephants to help him shoot the film.

What change needs to be made in sentence 1?

• Change filmmaker to Filmmaker

• Change downer to Downer

• Remove the comma after animals

• Change the comma to a semi-colon

(1) British filmmaker John downer wanted to capture some footage of jungle animals, but they can be difficult to film. (2) Jungle animals don’t usually let humans get very close to them, and they travel in places too dense for wildlife photographers to go. (3) Downer came up with a creative way to overcome these obstacles. (4) In a remote jungle in the heart of India, he used elephants to help him shoot the film.

What is the best way to combine sentences 3 and 4?

• Downer came up with a creative way to overcome these obstacles; in a remote jungle in the heart of India, he used elephants to help him shoot the film.

• Downer came up with a creative way to overcome these obstacles, in a remote jungle in the heart of India, he used elephants to help him shoot the film.

• Downer came up with a creative way to overcome these obstacles, so in a remote jungle in the heart of India, he used elephants to help him shoot the film.

• Downer came up with a creative way to overcome these obstacles, but in a remote jungle in the heart of India, he used elephants to help him shoot the film.

(1) Just a few months earlier, on May 12, 2008, Hao had been in his classroom on a typical day at school. (2) Without warning the ground beneath him began to tremble. (3) Hao’s school in the town of Yingxiu was at the very heart of an earthquake. (4) Windows shattered, shelves began toppling over, and the floor lost it’s stability. (5) Finally the whole building collapsed. (6) Hao somehow managed to climb out of the rubble and save himself two of his classmates, and others who were trapped.

What changes need to be made in sentence 4?

• Remove the comma after shattered

• Change shelves to shelfs

• Change it’s to its

• No change is needed.

(1) Just a few months earlier, on May 12, 2008, Hao had been in his classroom on a typical day at school. (2) Without warning the ground beneath him began to tremble. (3) Hao’s school in the town of Yingxiu was at the very heart of an earthquake. (4) Windows shattered, shelves began toppling over, and the floor lost it’s stability. (5) Finally the whole building collapsed. (6) Hao somehow managed to climb out of the rubble and save himself two of his classmates, and others who were trapped.

What changes need to be made in sentence 6?

• Insert a comma after somehow

• Insert a comma after rubble

• Insert a comma after himself

• No change is needed.

(1) Downer had been trying to film a TV series about tigers. (2) His cinematographers weren’t having much luck getting footage of the big cats. (3) One day, while watching some elephants at the campsite Downer had an idea. (4) The elephants were using their trunks to gently lift and move firewood for their trainers. (5) Would the animals be willing to carry cameras around the Jungle for him?

What change needs to be made in sentence 3?

• Insert a comma after campsite

• Remove the comma after day

• Change elephants to elephant’s

• Change the campsite to Campsite

(1) Downer had been trying to film a TV series about tigers. (2) His cinematographers weren’t having much luck getting footage of the big cats. (3) One day, while watching some elephants at the campsite Downer had an idea. (4) The elephants were using their trunks to gently lift and move firewood for their trainers. (5) Would the animals be willing to carry cameras around the Jungle for him?

What change needs to be made in sentence 5?

• Change Jungle to jungle

• Change animals to animal’s

• Insert a comma after cameras

• Change the question mark to a period