Daily Language: Writing Concisely and Correctly.

McDonald's once made bubble gum flavored broccoli

• because they wanted kids to eater healthier.

• to get kids to eat healthier.

• it was healthier.

• for healthier eating habits by children.

Zombies are real:

• ants are infected by a tropical fungus it controls the movements of these insects.

• ants being infected by a tropical fungus have their movements conhtrolled.

• a tropical fungus infects ants, controlling their movements.

• a tropical fungus infects acts and controls their movements.

Oranges

• was originally green.

• were originally green.

• had an original color of green.

• were colored green in their original state.

Scotland has over 400 words for snow,

• such as sneel, starting to rain or snow, and feefle, to swirl.

• sneel is one of them, meaning to rain or snow, and feefle is another, meaning to swirl.

• one is sneel, to rain or snow, feefle is one too, to swirl.

• sneel and feefle are some examples and they meaning to swirl and starting to rain or snow.

When there was a cotton shortage during World War I, an inventor developed a thin, flat cotton substitute that the army tried to use as a filter in gas masks,

• it is now called Kleenex.

• or as we otherwise might know it, Kleenex.

• which is now called Kleenex.

• which is the facial tissue now known as Kleenex.

Concise writing is as brief as possible and leaves out (a)   words.

Sentences should be concise but CORRECT. Check the sentences that are wrong. Look for a run on, comma splice, and fragment.

• Jeans have a tiny pocket originally designed to store pocket watches.

• Jeans have a tiny pocket, it was designed originally to store pocket watches,

• Jeans tiny pockets originally or pocket watches.

• Jeans have a tiny pocket they were designed to store pocket watches originally.

Which sentence do you think is best?

• Classic Disney characters wear gloves which is to keep animation simple.

• Classic Disney characters wear gloves to keep animation simple.

• Classic Disney characters wear gloves this was to keep animation simple.

• Classic Disney characters are wearing gloves, this kept animation simple.

Revise the following sentence so that it is CONCISE and correct. SENTENCE: The American flag we know today that has 50 states represented by stars was the result of an assignment done by a high school student.

Rewrite these sentences so they're correct and concise. SENTENCES: Percy Spencer was the person who invented the first microwave when he noticed electromagnetic waves melted the candy bar in his pocket. This man had the idea to make a metal box that used microwaves which then heated food. However though the company was the one to file the patent, so then this company got all the money and he got the low payment 2 dollars.