Editing Practice #1

What change, if any, should be made to sentence 1?

• Change colleges to Colleges

• Delete the comma after colleges

• Add a comma after employers

• Change High school to high School

• No change should be made to this sentence

What is the best revision of sentence 2 to eliminate wordiness?

• Those for it say that it would give students more time to achieve what is expected, and those against it say that students would lose interest and that schools will see drops in attendance in year five.

• Those for it say that it would give students more time to achieve what is expected and those against it say that students would lose interest and attendance will drop in year five.

• Supporters say that it would give students more time to achieve what is expected, and opponents say that students would lose interest and attendance.

• Supporters say that it would give students more time to meet expectations; opponents argue that there would be less student interest and lower attendance.

What is the best revision, if any, for sentence 4?

• I feel that extending school for one more year is a bad idea because students really only have three years, they will lose interest, and it is just covering up bigger problems.

• I feel that extending school for one more year is a bad idea; because students really only have three years, they will lose interest, and it is just covering up bigger problems.

• I feel that extending school for one more year is a bad idea, those being that students really only have three years, they will lose interest; and it is just covering up bigger problems.

• No change should be made to this sentence.

What is the best way to combine sentences 7 and 8 while maintaining the original meaning?

• That is not to mention the commonly-known disease that seems to affect all seniors called "senioritis;” a disease of laziness.

• That is not to mention the commonly-known disease called "senioritis,” and laziness.

• That is not to mention the commonly-known disease that seem to affect all seniors called "senioritis,” which is a disease of laziness.

• That is not to mention the commonly-known disease that seems to affect all seniors called "senioritis,” that is laziness.

What change, if any, should be made to sentence 9?

• Add a comma before and

• Change senioritis to Senioritis

• Add a comma after years

• Change college to College

• No change should be made to this sentence.

What change, if any, should be made to sentence 10?

• Change high school to High School

• Change enjoy to enjoys

• Remove the comma before whereas

• Change treat to treats

• No change should be made to this sentence.

What change should be made to sentence 14?

• Remove the comma after Lastly

• Change extending to extends

• Change high school to High School

• Change band-aid ® to Band-Aid ®

• Change education to Education

What is the best revision for sentence 15?

• At a time when the illiteracy and dropout rates seem to be rising as much as gas prices these days, one more year isn't going to cut it.

• At a time, when the illiteracy and dropout rates seem to be rising, as much as gas prices these days one more year isn't going to cut it.

• At a time when the illiteracy and dropout rates seem to be rising as much as gas prices, one more year isn't going to cut it, these days.

• At a time when the illiteracy and dropout rates seem to be rising as much as gas prices, one more year isn't going to cut it.

What is the best revision of sentence 17?

• So in conclusion four years is ample time, to achieve greatness if students fully take advantage of school.

• Finally four years is ample time to achieve greatness if students fully take advantage of school.

• So to conclude, four years is ample time to achieve greatness, if students fully take advantage of school.

• In conclusion, four years is ample time to achieve greatness if students fully take advantage of school.

What is the best revision, if any, for sentence 18?

• For those that don't think so, explain how most of My Generation’s parents did it in four years, does that make them superheroes?

• For those who don't think so explain how most of my generation’s parents did it in four years, does that make them Superheroes?

• For those who don't think so, explain how most of my generation’s parents did it in four years. Does that make them superheroes?

• No change needs to be made.