Types of essays

A narrative essay

• argues a point

• tells a story or past event

• is always in first person

• doesn't make one specific point

a narrative essay is

• usually boring

• usually written in pencil

• usually written in past tense

• usually written in sand

A descriptive essay

• has nothing to do with your senses

• is not descriptive at all

• describes an event in full detail

• describes an even in some detail and has lots of pictures

Descriptive essays are

• boring as heck

• exciting as heck

• neither boring nor exciting

• meh

descriptive essays are exciting as heck because...

• I wrote one with my toes one time

• they use senses to describe something vividly

• they tell me what to eat for dinner

• they are just aight

Expository essays are

• built on sand castles

• built in lava lamps

• built from lies

• built from facts

expository essays use

• a lot of research

• some facts I read on IG

• all my opinions

• what my mom told me

(good) Argumentative essays always

• focus on ONE person's beliefs/perspective

• focus on only what I heard

• focus on TWO or more perspectives

• never convince me of anything

argumentative essays seek to

• convince the reader of something

• tell the reader to break laws

• encourage readers to do something or believe something

• make a reader change their current mind/perspective

Discursive essays are boring to Ms. C because

• they are impartial and lack backbone

• they have no strong opinion or thought

• they are often dry and factual

• they are completely objective (all factual no opinion)