Editing/Revising 2

Use the essay "In Sync" to answer Questions 1-4.

1. J.T. would like to add the following sentence to the first paragraph (sentences 1–6).

"Students from around the world are also part of musical marching groups."

Where is the most effective place to insert this sentence?

• A. After sentence 1

• B. After sentence 2

• C. After sentence 4

• D. After sentence 5

Tags

CCSS.RI. 9-10.2

CCSS.RI.11-12.2

CCSS.RI.8.2

CCSS.RL.11-12.2

CCSS.RL.9-10.2

2. J.T. wants to use a more appropriate transition in sentence 11. Which of the following can best replace Furthermore in this sentence?

• A. For example

• B. In conclusion

• C. Overall

• D. Instead

Tags

CCSS.L.1.1G

CCSS.L.3.1H

CCSS.L.5.1A

CCSS.L.5.1E

3. What is the most effective revision to make in sentence 15?

• A. A misstep by just one student and a flaw is created that is visible in the perfectly

  coordinated display.

• B. A misstep by just one student creates a visible flaw in the perfectly coordinated display.

• C. A misstep by just one student creates a flaw in the perfectly coordinated display, the flaw

  is visible.

• D. A misstep by just one student creates a visible flaw that can be seen in the perfectly

  coordinated display.

Tags

CCSS.L.11-12.3A

CCSS.L.7.1C

4. J.T. has included an extraneous sentence in his paper. Which of these sentences should be deleted from this paper?

• A. Sentence 9

• B. Sentence 13

• C. Sentence 18

• D. Sentence 20

Use the essay "Make the Switch" to answer Questions 5-9.

5. Mimi’s essay does not have a strong position statement. Which of the following sentences should replace sentence 6 to serve as an effective position statement?

• A. It’s foolish to buy several bottles of water each day when there’s no good reason for doing

  this.

• B. People need to stop doing this now and protest against bottled-water companies.

• C. These problems can be solved, however, if people choose to drink water from reusable

  containers instead of plastic bottles.

• D. The list of problems that people are causing, such as increasing pollution, by buying

  bottled water is endless.

6. What is the most effective way to combine sentences 8 and 9?

• A. Bottled water may be attractively packaged, but it is simply processed tap water.

• B. Bottled water is simply processed tap water because it is attractively packaged.

• C. Bottled water may be attractively packaged, so it is simply processed tap water.

• D. Bottled water is attractively packaged, because it is simply processed tap water.

Tags

CCSS.L.3.1I

CCSS.L.4.2C

CCSS.L.5.1E

CCSS.L.7.1B

CCSS.L.9-10.2A

7. Mimi wants to improve the transition between the third paragraph (sentences 14–18) and the fourth paragraph (sentences 19–23). Which sentence can be added before sentence 19 to accomplish this goal?

• A. Because bottled water can cost so much, a reusable water bottle is a wise investment.

• B. People think bottled water is harmless, and other plastic containers are just as bad.

• C. Money is a concern for many people, so it should be saved whenever possible.

• D. Bottled water is a huge monetary expense, but the cost to our planet is even greater.

Tags

CCSS.RI. 9-10.2

CCSS.RI.11-12.2

CCSS.RL.11-12.2

CCSS.RL.8.2

CCSS.RL.9-10.2

8. What is the most effective way to revise sentence 21?

• A. Also consider that many bottles are discarded into landfills, where the bottles release

  chemicals as they decompose over hundreds of years.

• B. Also consider that landfills are filled with released chemicals, where they decompose many

  discarded bottles over hundreds of years.

• C. These bottles, decomposing over hundreds of years, should also be considered to release

  chemicals where they have been discarded into landfills.

• D. Over hundreds of years, landfills are filled with many bottles, and it should also be

  considered that the bottles decompose and release chemicals.

Tags

CCSS.L.11-12.3A

CCSS.L.7.1C

9. Mimi wants to conclude her essay by motivating her readers to take action. Which of the following statements should she insert after sentence 29 to accomplish this goal?

• A. The future of our planet depends on people like you doing away with a terrible

  threat—plastic water bottles.

• B. We should make the decision today to be smart about our finances and responsible with

  our planet by opting for reusable water bottles.

• C. We should make the decision today to be smart about our finances and responsible with

  our planet by opting for reusable water bottles.

• D. Choose reusable water bottles, and watch your savings grow.