Creative Writing - Show.. Don't Tell... Ex: 1

Choose the sentence that shows instead of tells.

• The children were always good.

• The obedient children shared their toys, completed their math homework, and did their chores.

• The children behaved and did as they were told.

• The children did not behave in August while waiting in line at the zoo.

And the crowds slowly filed by, at once horrified and fascinated by these strange creatures that looked like horses but ran up the walls of their cages like spiders. "This is certainly worth a dollar, " one man remarked, hurrying away. "i'm going home to get the wife."

From the description, how do you know that the people are excited?

In the past they had sometimes been treated to three-legged creatures from Venus, or tall, thin men from Mars, or even snaklike horrors from somewhere more distant.

Which of the five senses does the description appeal to?

• smell

• taste

• sight

• touch

In one house, the she-creature was happy to see the return of her mate and offspring. She babbled a greeting in the strange tongue and hurried to embrace them. "it was a long time you were gone! Was it good?"

What feeling/mood does this show?

• jealousy

• anxious

• joy

• disappointment

The Earth people agreed that it had been the best show yet.

Change this sentence from a telling sentence to a showing sentence. Use imagery and figurative language.

My palms were sweaty. I popped my knuckles. I looked in my backpack three times for no reason. My leg kept shaking, and I turned my head to look at the clock every few seconds.

What feeling/ mood does this show?

I was scared to see the animals at the zoo.

Rewrite this description by ‘showing’ the reader what it was like to be scared. Appeal to the senses and focus on the physical body’s response to the emotion. Focus on the face, the eyes, the mouth, the hair, the skin, the heart, the blood, the pulse, the sweat, the breath and the tears, etc.

Show, don’t tell!

Write a few (3-4) sentences to show the following.

The visit to the zoo was boring.

Her mouth fell open

• happy

• confused

• nervous

• surprised

He looked down at the ground.

• sad

• confused

• nervous

• relaxed