Source Based Esaays

Refer to Introduction 1: This introduction has the following weaknesses

• The stance is not clear

• The stance doesn't mention the extent

• The extent of the CA is not mentioned

• There is no clear transition word

Refer to Introduction 2: This introduction has the following weaknesses

• The stance is not clear

• The stance doesn't mention the extent

• The counter argument is not mentioned

• There is unneccessary scaffolding

Refer to Introduction 3: This introduction has the following weaknesses

• The CA is mentioned before the Stance

• The stance doesn't mention the extent

• 'Some' should be avoided when adressing extent

• The extent of the CA is not mentioned

Refer to Introduction 4: This introduction has the following weaknesses

• 'The Israelis were not to blame' shouldn't be there

• The stance is unclear

• The extent of the CA is not mentioned

Refer to Introduction 5: This introduction has the following weaknesses

• No transition words are used

• The CA comes before the Stance

• The extent of the CA is not mentioned

• There is unneccessary scaffolding

Having studied all the introductions, I think the best one is:

• Introduction 1

• Introduction 2

• Introduction 3

• Introduction 4

• Introduction 5

Body paragraph 1 has the following weaknesses:

• The 'Point' doesn't address the question directly

• The paragraph only references one source

• There is no 'Link' at the end

• The paragraph ends with a quote/reference

Body paragraph 2 has the following weaknesses:

• The 'Point' doesn't address the question directly

• The paragraph doesn't link the sources successfully

• There is no 'Link' at the end

• There is not enough evidence

Body paragraph 3 has the following weaknesses:

• The 'Point' doesn't address the question directly

• Source A and H are not used correctly

• There is no 'Link' to the question at the end

• Source G doesn't really relate to the 'Point'

• There is no 'Explanation'.

Body paragraph 4 has the following weaknesses:

• There is no 'Link' at the end

• It ends with a quote

• There is no 'Explanation' for the last Source mentioned (Source G)

• Too many sources are used in one paragraph