Revising and Editing: 2 Passages

(7) The first rubber-soled shoes were made in England in the 1830s. (8) They were called sand shoes because people wore them to the beach. (9) The shoes quickly became popular because they were comfortable, and they were popular because they were easy to clean.

1. What is the BEST way to revise sentence 9?

• The shoes quickly became popular because they were comfortable and easy to clean.

• The shoes quickly became popular because they were comfortable, they were also easy to clean.

• Quickly popular because they were comfortable, the shoes were also easy to clean.

• Because the shoes quickly became popular, they were comfortable and easy to clean.

(12) Not only were Keds comfortable, but they were also very quiet. (13) In fact, the rubber soles made them so quiet that people could sneak up on one another. (14) People were referring to the new shoes as sneakers, and the name stuck.

2. Which transition word or phrase could BEST be added to the beginning of sentence 14?

• For example

• However

• Soon

• In conclusion

(15) In 1917 a company called Converse invented an athletic shoe for basketball players. (16) These shoes changed the sports-shoe industry. (17) Other companies began making specific shoes for specific sports.

3. Devin wants to add a sentence to tell more about the idea he has expressed in sentence 15. Which of these would BEST follow and support sentence 15?

• People everywhere enjoy playing and watching basketball.

• This was in the beginning of the 1900s that this happened.

• It had a higher top to support the ankle.

• Basketball had been invented in 1891.

(24) Today’s athletic shoes are very different from the first rubbersoled shoes. (25) Shoe manufacturers use high-tech materials to make shoes that are good for them. (26) These shoes are lightweight and may help prevent injuries.

The meaning of sentence 25 is unclear. Devin can improve this sentence by changing them to----

• sneakers

• others

• big companies

• people's feet

(27) If you travel to other countries, you’ll see many different styles. (28) However, in most places they aren’t called sneakers. (29) In England they’re called trainers. (30) In Canada they’re known as runners. (31) And in South Africa people call them tackies.

5. Devin needs a topic sentence for the seventh paragraph (sentences 27 - 31). Which sentence could come just before sentence 27 and help open this paragraph?

• Sneakers are now worn all over the world.

• A lightweight shoe is better for your foot and ankle.

• In other countries there are many different styles of shoes.

• There are sneakers in England, Canada, and South Africa today.

Oliver's First Night

(5) They took Oliver out of his pen and put him in there car. (6) Oliver was finally on his way to a place he could call home!

6. What change, if any, should be made to sentence 5?

• Change took to take

• Insert a comma after pen

• Change there to their

• No change should be made

(10) Then night fell. (11) While the people went upstairs. (12) Oliver was left to sleep downstairs in the basement. (13) Oliver was scared! (14) Where was his family?

7. What is the correct way to write sentences 11 & 12?

(18) That was when Oliver learned that he wasn’t alone after all. (19) “What’s the problem, buddy?” someone asked in a raspy voice. (20) Olivers ears stood up on his head. (21) He growled, trying to sound tough.

8. What change, if any, should be made in sentence 20?

• Change Olivers to Oliver's

• Change stood up to standed up

• Change on his head to they were on his head

• No change should be made

(30) “I’m a clown fish,” a striped orange-and-white thing said with a giggle.”

8. How should sentence 30 be changed?

• Change striped to stripped

• Change said to says

• Delete the quotation marks after the period

• The sentence should not be changed

(32) The three began to play. (33) The shrimp swam after the clown fish, the coral cheered, waving its arms wildly.

10. What is the correct way to write sentence 33?

• The shrimp swam after the clown fish. The coral cheering and waving its arms wildly.

• The shrimp swam after the clown fish, and the coral cheered, it waved its arms wildly.

• The shrimp swam after the clown fish, and the coral cheered. Waving its arms wildly.

• The shrimp swam after the clown fish. The coral cheered, waving its arms wildly.