Revising for Clarity

Which is the best way to revise this sentence for clarity?

In the late 1700s and early 1800s, buildings on Wall Street and places such as City Hall may have served as smaller theaters, and other locations in downtown New York City also did.

• Buildings on Wall Street may have served as smaller theaters in the late 1700s and early 1800s, and also places such as City Hall and other locations in downtown New York City.

• In the late 1700s and early 1800s, buildings on Wall Street, including City Hall and other locations in downtown New York City, may have served as smaller theaters.

• In the late 1700s and early 1800s, buildings on Wall Street may have served as smaller theaters, and also places such as City Hall and other locations in downtown New York City,

• Buildings on Wall Street and other locations in downtown New York City may have served as smaller theaters in the late 1700s and early 1800s, and also places such as City Hall.

How is this sentence best rewritten to eliminate needlessly repeated information?

Without a doubt, I am certain that building a tree house was worth every bit of planning, hard work, and money I put into it.

• Without a doubt, I am sure building a tree house was worth every bit of planning, hard work, and money I put into it.

• Without a doubt, building a tree house was worth every bit of planning, hard work, and money I put into it.

• Without a doubt, building a tree house was unquestionably worth every bit of planning, hard work, and money I put into it.

• Without a doubt, building a tree house definitely was worth every bit of planning, hard work, and money I put into it.

Read the following excerpt:

(1) As your student council president, I am writing to ask for your support. (2) Beginning February 16, 2014 our school will join the Count-Your-Steps walking program. (3) Mr. Stewart Thomas, a parent of two students at Star Middle School and a local radio announcer, initially proposed the idea. (4) Mr. Thomas is a fan of walking and wants to encourage others to appreciate the activity. (5) He shared his Count-Your-Steps plan with our principal, Ms. Howser, who immediately agreed that we should try it. (6) Besides, the story does not end there.

In sentence 6, which word would best replace "besides"?

• Typically,

• Therefore,

• Finally,

• Thus,

• However,

Read the following excerpt:

(20) As the new style grew in popularity, the content of Broadway shows began to change. (21) Comedies and dramas often centered on then-current events, such as prohibition women's right to vote, the Harlem Renaissance, the Labor Movement, and war.

Which transition should be inserted at the beginning of sentence 21?

• Additionally,

• Specifically,

• For this reason,

• Similarly,

• Otherwise,

Read the following excerpt:

(13) We walked through a long corridor, down a flight of stairs, and came to a huge garage door, which Bill opened by pushing a button. (14) As the door slid upward, and our eyes adjusted to the light, I was surprised. (15) Glaring down at us was a huge Tyrannosaurus rex with a wide-open mouth.

Which revision of sentence 14 uses the most descriptive language?

• The door moaned as it gradually slid upward, and as our eyes adjusted to the dim, muted light, my jaw almost hit the floor.

• As the door slid open and upward slowly, and our eyes adjusted to the light, and then I was really very shocked by what I saw.

• As the door opened upward, and our eyes adjusted to the light, I was dumbfounded.

• The door slid upward as our eyes adjusted to the light, and I was amazed.

Read the following excerpt:

(30) After visiting more incredible creatures from our favorite movies, Bill showed us how they were created. (31) First he demonstrated the moves of an alien creature that he was designing with a computer program. (32) Then we watched his regular special-effects team spray layers of plastic onto the aluminum skeleton of a robotic bear. (33) Following that, we toured the model shop where detailed miniature models of spaceships, submarines, and a medieval castle were standing in various stages of completion. (34) Zack and I followed Bill around, speechless with awe.

Which word replaces "detailed" in sentence 33 to make the meaning most precise?

• specific

• intricate

• particular

• thorough

• exact