A Loquat in the Backlog

Would you rather...

• For the next 2 years, every time you say anything about a PBI being easy or quick, a new bug is added to your current sprint.

• For the rest of your life you have to sing your user stories to the team, during refinements.

Would you rather...

• Have to go through BMW authentication on every operation

• Authentication stays as it is today, but words are replaced with german random words.

Would you rather...

• Have to write at least 2000 words on each PBI, except bugs

• Have to translate your PBI's in English, French, Italian, German and Greek

Would you rather...

• Have to deal with a Toxic BMW PO who is constantly undermining your autonomy, who is directly accessing your Dev Team members, and who is the least Agile person in the planet...

• Have to deal with a Toxic CTW Dev Team where Seniors use Juniors as scapegoats, where commitments are constantly being failed, and where everyone lives in a "rotten peace" status?

Would you rather...

• Be the PV of a product that is being developed for 2 years and is yet to be used in Production, and that is full of features which many users did not ask for

• Be the PV of a product that is already being used in Production but has dozens of incidents every week?

Would you rather...

• Have a backlog with no user-centrism at all and full of detailed technical solutions to non-defined problems

• A backlog that it is super user-centric but with no granularity and full of super big stories that the team cannot manage and keeps carrying over from sprint to sprint.

Would you rather...

• Have no Product Vision

• Have no Sprint Goal

Would you rather...

• Be paid by the number of story points your team delivers each sprint, minus the carry overs

• Be paid a steady wage, plus a bonus for the number of new users you get.

Would you rather...

• Have all PBI's as Blocker

• Have all PBI's as Trivial

Would you rather...

• Have a huge Backlog, unprioritized and unestimated

• Have a small Backlog that is prioritized, estimated, but is never enough for your team