Fishing for Monsters + A Thanksgiving Scare

Original: 'Nichelle caught a couple of “keepers”;

she tossed them back." What is the most effective way for to revise the sentence so that its

idea is clear?

• Nichelle used her fishing pole to catch a

  couple of “keepers”; she tossed them

  back.

• Nichelle caught a couple of “keepers,”

  fish that were big enough for her to keep

  legally, but she tossed them back.

• All Nichelle caught that whole hot and

  humid morning were a couple of

  “keepers” that she tossed back.

"(16) It looked huge. (17) It looked bumpy. (18) It looked

sort of grey." Revise the sentences so they do not sound "choppy".

• It looked huge, bumpy, and sort of grey.

• Although it looked huge and bumpy, it

  also looked sort of grey.

• It looked huge; it looked bumpy; it looked

  sort of grey.

(25) Kim realized that it was a tent floating in the pond. (26) She stood up.

(27) Nichelle shouted for her not to get in the water, but Kim got in and swam toward the

thing. (28) Kim stood up a few minutes later, holding an old tent in one hand.

What is the most effective way for

Deshawna to improve the level of

suspense in the seventh paragraph

(sentences 25–28)?

• Use more descriptive details in sentence

  28 to show how dirty the pond is

• Add a scene in which Kim and Nichelle

  argue about whether to get into the

  water

• Replace sentence 25 with a scary

  description of the strange object in

  the pond

(28) Kim stood up a few minutes later, holding an old tent in one hand.

Deshawna wants to use figurative language

to describe Kim and the tent. What is the

most effective way for her to rewrite

sentence 28?

• Kim stood up a few minutes later,

  holding an old tent in one hand and

  wearing a big grin.

• Kim stood up a few minutes later,

  holding an old tent in one hand, and

  Nichelle started laughing.

• Kim stood up a few minutes later,

  holding an old tent in one hand, letting it

  dangle there like a prize-winning fish.

(1) Last summer, Robert decided to sign up for a course at his local teen center.

Matthew wants sentence 1 to show that

Robert doesn’t want to take a summer

course. What is the most effective

replacement for "decided to sign up for"?

• longed to take

• was asked to register for

• considered taking

• dreaded the thought of sitting through

(5) After the class ended, Robert did not spend much time thinking about what he

had learned. (6) Then, on Thanksgiving, he had to put his knowledge into practice.

(7) When his uncle started to carve the turkey, the knife slipped! (8) He wound up with a

deep cut in his hand, and it bled a lot. (9) Luckily, everything was going to be all right!

In the second paragraph (sentences 5–9),

what is the most effective way to increase

the story’s level of suspense?

• Replace sentence 9 with a detailed

  description of the cut and of the danger

• Build in descriptive details that tell the

  reader more about Robert’s uncle

• Insert a flashback to Robert’s class on

  the day that he learns how to treat

  dangerous cuts

(10) “Well, that one’s going to smart, isn’t it?” his uncle asked.

In sentence 10, Matthew wants readers to

recognize that Robert’s uncle is acting brave

but is frightened. What is the most effective

replacement for "his uncle asked"?

• his uncle sobbed, his voice shaking

• his uncle shrugged, his voice trembling

• his uncle glared, his voice quiet and

  calming

• his uncle grinned, his voice loud and

  comforting

(13) Robert’s

uncle immediately put his hand in the sink, but the blood kept coming.

Which of the following sentences uses

figurative language to create a more vivid

description of the cut in sentence 13?

• Although the sink’s water was cold, his

  arm wouldn’t stop bleeding.

• As if a pipeline had burst in his arm,

  blood just kept pouring into the sink.

• The bright red liquid mixed with water

  from the sink, looking pink as it ran into

  the drain.

Sentence 21 begins, “They drove to the

hospital . . .” Matthew would like to use a

more vivid verb to describe their trip. Which

of the following is the most effective

replacement for "drove"?

• raced

• went

• headed

• traveled