ELA Revising Practice

1. Roberto wants to increase the intensity created in his introduction. Which of the following would be the BEST way to rewrite sentence 5 to accomplish this goal?

• The blood that the patient is losing needs to be replaced as soon as possible.

• The patient is losing a massive amount of blood and is in desperate need of a transfusion.

• The anxious doctor realizes that a blood transfusion is needed when he notices the blood loss.

• You may know someone who has needed a blood transfusion in the past.

2. What is the most effective way to revise sentence 11?

• Also, whenever there is a devastating event, the need for blood can become even more critical, this happened with the terrorist attacks on September 11, 2001.

• Also, there is a devastating event and the need for blood can become even more critical whenever there are terrorist attacks, such as on September 11, 2001.

• Also, whenever there is a devastating event, the need for blood can become even more critical than the terrorist attacks on September 11, 2001.

• Also, whenever there is a devastating event, such as the terrorist attacks on September 11, 2001, the need for blood can become even more critical.

3. Roberto would like to add a transition to connect the paragraphs 2 and 3 more effectively. Which transition should be added to the beginning of sentence 12?

• Fortunately,

• As an example,

• On the contrary,

• In fact,

4. Roberto would like to combine the ideas in sentences 14 and 15. Which is the best way to combine these sentences?

• Although the process requires less than an hour of the donor’s time, most people say that it is almost painless.

• The process usually requires less than an hour of the donor’s time, yet most people say that it is almost painless.

• The process usually requires less than an hour of the donor’s time, and most people say that it is almost painless.

• Most people say the process that usually requires less than an hour of the donor’s time is almost painless.

5. The meaning of sentence 21 can be improved by changing it to —

• them

• some

• your arm

• your blood

6. The writer would like to strengthen the ideas in paragraph 4 (sentences 20-25) by adding additional details. He wants to add the following sentence:

You may feel a little woozy, but after some juice and cookies, you’ll probably feel fine.

The statement above can be inserted after what sentence?

• Sentence 21

• Sentence 22

• Sentence 23

• Sentence 24