Editing Paragraphs

. Thomas wants to improve his opening paragraph. How can he rewrite sentence 1 to provide more detail and imagery?

• The old man swayed back and forth as he rode a donkey along a winding dirt road.

• A donkey traveled along a road with an old man on his back.

• An old man was on the back of a donkey on a dirt road.

• The old man moved on a donkey in order to get to town.

What is the BEST revision to make in sentence 4?

• Twice within the last hour, the four-footed creature had stumbled and almost fallen and catching itself at the last possible moment before taking a tumble into a ditch that...

• Twice within the last hour, the four-footed creature had stumbled, and then fell and catching itself at the last possible moment before taking a tumble into a ditch that paralleled the road on either side

• Twice within the last hour, the four-footed creature had stumbled and fallen and catching itself at the last possible moment before taking a tumble into a ditch that

• Twice within the last hour, the four-footed creature had stumbled and almost fallen, catching itself at the last possible moment before taking a tumble into a ditch that paralleled the road on either side.

3. Thomas did not maintain a consistent point of view in the first paragraph of this paper. What revision should he make in sentence 5 to correct this problem?

• Change the old man to the old men

• Change he pulled out to they pulled out

• Change it to them

• Change ribbon to donkey

Thomas has used a poor choice of words in sentence 17. He should change stuff to ̶

• traditions

• acts

• celebrations

• things

What change should be made in sentence 18?

• Change just to nearly

• Change hope to suppose

• Change our to their

• Change delicious to well-done

. Thomas would like to add the following sentence to the ninth paragraph (sentences 19-22).

The third villager listened to the first two and dashed off to tell his wife while the first two villagers did likewise.

Where is the BEST place to insert this sentence?

• After sentence 19

• After sentence 20

• After sentence 21

• After sentence 22

What change, if any, should be made in sentence 2?

• Delete the comma

• Change does to did

• Change had to has

• Make no change

. What change, if any, needs to be made in sentence 3?

• Delete the comma

• Change shuffeled to shuffled

• Change foot to feet

• Make no change

What change needs to be made in sentence 7?

• Change Lets to Let’s

• B Change see to sees

• Change fleece to fleese

• Change these to this

What change, if any, needs to be made in sentence 8?

• Insert a comma after poise

• Change rode to he rode

• Insert a comma after village

• Sentence 8 does not need to be changed.