STA English Review

What is the most effective revision to make in sentence 4?

• Unfortunately, my hands aren’t interested, they don’t care what my brain is telling them to do.

• Unfortunately, my hands aren’t interested in what my brain is telling my hands to do.

• Unfortunately, my hands and my brain aren’t interested in what it is telling them to do.

• No revision is needed in this sentence.

What is the BEST way to revise sentence 8?

• A shrill scream snaps me out of my daydream, and from the car behind me, it returns my focus to the world around me.

• A shrill scream snaps me out of my daydream and returns my focus to the world around me, it came from the car behind me.

• A shrill scream from the car behind me snaps me out of my daydream and returns my focus to the world around me.

• A shrill scream snaps me out of my daydream from the car behind me, returning my focus to the world around me.

What is the BEST revision to make in sentence 9?

• All I can hear is the whoosh of the wind, the thunder of the car’s metallic wheels, and the piercing shrieks of my fellow passengers.

• All I can hear is the whoosh of the wind and the thunder of the car’s metallic wheels, I can also hear my fellow passengers who have piercing shrieks.

• All I can hear is the whoosh of the wind and the thunder of the car’s metallic wheels and my fellow passengers and their piercing shrieks.

• All I can hear is the whoosh of the wind next to the thunder of the car’s metallic wheels beside my fellow passengers who have piercing shrieks.

Isaiah would like to add some detail to support the idea he has presented in sentence 14. Which sentence could BEST follow and provide support for sentence 14?

• I’m thinking that the ride will be over soon.

• It comes out of the tunnel really fast and heads straight up into the air.

• The light of a beautiful day is welcome but nearly blinding after the darkness of the tunnel.

• While I find adventure movies intriguing, this doesn’t feel intriguing at all.

What is the most effective transition to add to the beginning of sentence 19?

• For example

• To repeat

• On the other hand

• In fact

Isaiah’s closing sentence is weak. Which of these sentences could replace sentence 20 and provide a more effective closing for this paper?

• I’m going to get right back in line and ride the Viper again!

• There’s no doubt in my mind as to what I will do now!

• Finally, I’m going to do it again.

• In closing, riding the Viper was an amazing experience.

What is the most effective revision to make in sentence 3?

• They write essays, take tests, and do homework while there are sports practices.

• They write essays, take tests, do homework, and attend sports practices.

• They write essays, take tests, and do homework, they also go to sports practices.

• Sentence 3 is written correctly in the paper.

Ari would like to revise sentence 7 so that it more clearly states the position he is taking in this paper. Which of the following could replace sentence 7 and BEST accomplish this goal?

• Our school should join other schools in implementing a citizenship program that will require service projects within the school.

• School can be a place where students are part of something bigger than just academics, classrooms, and lunchrooms.

• We as a school can offer programs that help kids do amazing things with their lives today and add to their futures.

• In this paper I’ll tell you how we can set some new goals and encourage kids in our school to be more responsible.

Ari has left an important detail out of the second paragraph (sentences 8–10).

At the end of the grading period, each student received a citizenship grade in addition to his or her academic grades.

Where is the BEST place to insert this sentence?

• Before sentence 8

• After sentence 8

• After sentence 9

• After sentence 10

Ari has included an extraneous sentence in the third paragraph (sentences 11–15). Which sentence should be deleted from this paragraph?

• Sentence 12

• Sentence 13

• Sentence 14

• Sentence 15