Editing for Clarity

CLARIFY THIS SENTENCE
The new rules were passed by the committee during the meeting which was today.

• NO CHANGE
• The new rules were passed by the committee during today's meeting
• The committee, which met today, passed the new rules.
• The commitee passed the new rules in today's meeting.

Tags

CCSS.L.11-12.3A

CCSS.L.7.1C

CLARIFY THIS SENTENCE
The Federalists’ argument in regard to the destabilization of government by popular democracy was based on their belief in the tendency of factions to further their self-interest at the expense of the common good. 

• NO CHANGE
• The Federalists argued that popular democracy destabilized government, because they believed that factions tended to further their self-interest at the expense of the common good. 
• The Federalists' arguments about destabilized government in popular democracy was based on their belief in the tendency of factions to further their self-interest at the expense of the common good.
• The Federalists argued popular democracy destabilized government based on their belief in the tendency of factions to promote their own self-interest rather than the common good.

Tags

CCSS.L.11-12.3A

CCSS.L.7.1C

CLARIFY THIS SENTENCE
Industrial spying,because of the growing use of computers to store and process corporate information, is increasing rapidly.

• NO CHANGE
• Industrial spying is increasing rapidly because of the growing use of computers to store and process corporate information.
• Because of the growing use of computers, in order to store and process corporate information, industrial spying is increasing rapidly. 

Tags

CCSS.L.11-12.3A

CCSS.L.7.1C

CLARIFY THIS SENTENCE
Hurricane Irma, due to its strength, was the reason many schools closed.

• NO CHANGE
• Due to its strength, Hurricane Irma caused many schools closures.
• Due to its strength, Hurricane Irma was the reason many schools closed.
• Hurricane Irma was the reason many schools close due to its strength.

Tags

CCSS.L.3.1A

CCSS.L.3.1D

CLARIFY THIS SENTENCE
The implementation of the plan was successful.

• NO CHANGE
• The success of the plan was implemented.
• The plan was implemented successfully.

Tags

CCSS.L.11-12.3A

CCSS.L.7.1C

CLARIFY THIS SENTENCE
Playing Overwatch for three hours, my paper was not finished.

• NO CHANGE
• I did not finish my paper since I played Overwatch for three hours.
• Playing Overwatch for three hours, I did not finish my paper. 
• My paper was not finished, as I was playing Overwatch for three hours.

Tags

CCSS.L.11-12.3A

CCSS.L.7.1C

CLARIFY THIS SENTENCE
Mistakes were made by the government in the management of the war.

• NO CHANGE
• Mistakes were made by the government in war management.
• The government made mistakes in the management of the war.

Tags

CCSS.L.2.1F

CCSS.L.8.1B

CCSS.L.8.1D

CCSS.L.8.3A

CLARIFY THIS SENTENCE
The thing which is most imperative is that we sell the required candy bars.

• NO CHANGE
• It is imperative we sell the required candy bars.
• The thing which is most imperative is selling the required candy bars.
• The imperative thing is that we sell the required candy bars.

Tags

CCSS.L.1.1J

CCSS.L.2.1F

CCSS.L.8.1C

CCSS.L.K.1D

CLARIFY THIS SENTENCE
I received and read the email you sent yesterday about the report you’re writing for the project. I agree it needs a thorough, close edit by an expert.

• NO CHANGE
• I received your email about the project report and agree it needs an expert edit.
• I received and read the email you sent yesterday about the report you're writing for the project and agree it needs an expert edit.
• Email. I received it. Get an expert reader.

Tags

CCSS.L.4.1F

When should you use active voice?

• When the reader doesn't need to know who/what does an action
• When a sentence requires a long bundle of information at the end
• When your mom says it's okay
• Whenever you can

Tags

CCSS.L.2.1F

CCSS.L.8.1B

CCSS.L.8.1D

CCSS.L.8.3A