STAAR Revising Practice

Sentence 8 lacks clarity. What is the MOST effective change Rose can make to improve the clarity of this sentence?

• I began taking karate at age seven when my parents insisted I get off the couch and “do something.”

• I began taking karate, when my parents at age seven insisted I get off the couch and “do something.”

• My parents insisted I get off the couch and “do something” when I began taking karate at age seven.

• When I began taking karate, my parents insisted I get off the couch and “do something” at age seven.

Melody’s opening sentence is unclear. What change should she make in sentence 1 to clarify her introductory paragraph?

• F Change They to Teachers and leaders at our school

• G Change continually to always

• H Change telling us to instructing us

• J Change community to surrounding neighborhood

Melody needs a better transition into the third paragraph (sentences 12–17) of her essay. Which of the following could she add before sentence 12 to improve this transition?

• F In researching mentoring programs, I learned of several promising results.

• G As I think about a mentoring program, I have many ideas on how it should work.

• H If struggling youngsters get the help they need, it could benefit teachers, too.

• J Because I believe in the mentoring concept, I’d like to see it at our school.

What change, if any, needs to be made in sentence 4?

• F Change benefitial to beneficial

• G Insert a comma after people

• H Change healthier to healthiest

• J No change is needed in sentence 4.

What change, if any, needs to be made in sentence 26?

• F Change minimal to minamal

• G Change are to were

• H Delete the comma after appropriate

• J No change is necessary.

What change should Gena make in sentence 17?

• Insert a comma after September

• Change whom to who

• Change proficient to proficiant

• Change came to comes

Candice needs a more effective thesis statement for her paper. Which sentence should replace sentence 8 to serve as the thesis statement?

• F There are other barrier reefs in the oceans of the world, but only the Great Barrier Reef is so well known.

• G The Great Barrier Reef of Australia is a supreme example of the mysteries of the natural world because of its wide variety of plant and animal life.

• H Some scientists believe the Great Barrier Reef first began to grow about 18 million years ago.

• J A coral reef like the Great Barrier Reef can grow only in shallow, warm water because it needs light from the sun to survive.

Candice may have a redundant sentence in the fourth paragraph (sentences 22–26). Which sentence, if any, should be deleted?

• F Sentence 24

• G Sentence 25

• H Sentence 26

• J No sentence should be deleted.

How does sentence 28 need to be changed?

• F Change Similar to Similarly

• G Change female to females

• H Change started to would start

• J Insert a comma after Club

Rose wants to add another detail to help support the ideas in the second paragraph (sentences 6–11). Which sentence should replace sentence 10 to accomplish this goal? (6) I know from experience that studying martial arts can help you improve your physical fitness. (7) I began taking karate at age seven when my parents insisted I get off the couch and “do something.” (8) At first it was difficult for me to complete the kicking, punching, and blocking drills in karate. (9) I practiced every week to get my heart pumping and at striking foam pads with my hands to help improve my technique. (10) My dedication paid off, and I eventually worked my way up to the rank of brown belt. (11) I love feeling healthier and knowing that I can defend myself if necessary.

• There were very few kids my age who attend karate daily.

• My parents were happy that I made so many friends in karate class.

• I did not realize kids my age could earn such high ranks in a martial-arts class.

• I have become stronger, faster, and better coordinated than I was when I first started.