"My Experience with Credit,” Revising Passage

What is the most effective way to combine sentences 2 and 3? 

• After asking my parents to loan me the skateboard money, my dad told me no, and I said I would pay them back later.

• I asked my parents to loan me the skateboard money, saying I would pay them back later, but my dad told me no.

• I asked my parents to loan me the skateboard money, and I said I would pay them back later and my dad told me no.

• Although I asked my parents to loan me the skateboard money my dad told me no even though I said I would pay them back later.

What is the most effective transition to add to the beginning of sentence 12?

• Correspondingly

• In either case

• Unfortunately

• To put it differently

Veronica has not used the most effective word in sentence 10. Which word should replace use to create a more effective sentence?

• waste

• designate

• employ

• need

Sentence 20 is unclear. How should it be revised?

• Having my credit history included on the family credit report encouraged me to handle my card wisely.

• Because I had my credit history included on the family credit report, it was highly motivating to handle my card wisely.

• It became a primary goal of mine to handle my card wisely with the family credit report having my credit history included on it.

• I wanted to handle my card wisely with it including my credit history on the family credit report.

Veronica wants to add a call to action to the end of her essay. Which sentence should she insert after sentence 25 to provide an effective call to action?

• All parents should teach their children about establishing good credit.

• Teenagers often overspend before they head out into the workforce or off to college.

• All teens should take the simple steps necessary to begin building good credit. 

• If I can earn better credit, I can do anything.