Revision: Pencil-Tip Art

What is the BEST way to combine sentences 6 and 7?

• Ghetti learned how to carve his friends’ names into pencils, which he would then give to his friends as gifts.

• Ghetti learned how to carve his friends’ names into pencils, he would then give the pencils to his friends as gifts.

• Ghetti learned how to carve his friends’ names into pencils after he would give the pencils to his friends as gifts.

• Ghetti learned how to carve his friends’ names into pencils that would then give the pencils to his friends as gifts.

What is the BEST way to revise sentence 9?

• One day he decided to carve into the tip of a pencil, he would carve a miniature sculpture.

• One day he decided that he would carve into the tip of a pencil where he carved a miniature sculpture.

• One day he decided to carve a miniature sculpture into the tip of a pencil.

• The sentence does not need to be revised.

Kenny realizes that there is a sentence in the third paragraph (sentences 11–18) that does not belong. Which sentence should Kenny delete from this paragraph?

• Sentence 12

• Sentence 13

• Sentence 14

• Sentence 17

The meaning of sentence 23 is unclear. Kenny can clarify the meaning of this sentence by changing they to —

• the stuff he worked on

• this and that

• items and things

• his pencils and pencil tips