ENGLISH FOR OFFICE COMMUNICATION

Office Assistant: “Can you fax this document for me?”

• Sure! If I can figure out which century this machine is from.

• No problem, I’ll just email it.

• Wait, is that the one that beeps like a spaceship?

• Can I trade this task for coffee duty?

Staff: “I accidentally sent the wrong file to the boss.”

• Send another one and pretend it's a test.

• Time to fake a system crash!

• Apologize and send the correct one ASAP.

• Quit and change your identity.

Caller: “Can I speak to Mr. Somchai?”

• He's currently in a staring contest with the copier.

• Let me transfer your call.

• Sorry, he’s on another call.

• Please hold while I track him with radar.

Supervisor: “Have you filed all the documents?”

• Yes, in my personal black hole.

• Almost! Just color-coding them by mood.

• I’ll finish after lunch.

• Filed them under 'M' for Maybe.

Colleague: “Can you schedule a meeting with the client?”

• I’ll need three coffees and a miracle.

• Sure, I’ll check everyone’s zodiac sign for the best time.

• I’ll send a calendar invite.

• Do pigeons still deliver messages?

Manager: “Let’s circle back to this item tomorrow.”

• Does that mean we spin in our chairs?

• Got it, we’ll revisit it later.

• Can we take a straighter path instead?

• I prefer triangles, but okay.

Colleague: “There’s cake in the pantry!”

• I’ll be there in 0.3 seconds.

• Is it someone's birthday or just happiness?

• Should we schedule a cake meeting?

• I thought the cake was a lie!

Supervisor: “We need to work on our communication skills.”

• Can we start by using emojis?

• I agree, especially during Zoom calls.

• Can we communicate via snacks?

• I think my emails are already masterpieces.

HR: “Please fill out the feedback form.”

• Sure, I have opinions ready!

• Can I submit memes instead?

• Is there a multiple-choice for snacks?

• I filled it out using invisible ink.

Intern: “Where’s the coffee machine?”

• It’s the most sacred office shrine.

• Follow the smell of productivity.

• Right past the land of procrastination.

• Next to the printer that never works.