Self-Advocacy Skills

A friend has not answered any of your text messages for three days. Using the perception checking method, which of the following responses best reflects strategic thinking and planning?

• You’re ignoring me on purpose, aren’t you?

• I noticed you haven’t replied to my texts for a few days. I’m not sure if you’re busy or if something is wrong. Can you let me know what’s up?

• You always do this when you’re mad at me.

• You should answer your messages more often.

Which of the following best illustrates the use of “I” language in a situation where your partner has been unusually quiet and unresponsive lately?

• Why are you ignoring me? You must be mad at me.

• You never talk to me anymore.

• I’ve noticed you’ve been quiet lately. I’m wondering if you’re upset with me or if something else is on your mind. Can we talk about it?

• You should tell me what’s wrong.

Consider a situation where you need to express dissatisfaction with a group project outcome. Using your understanding of "I" language, construct a response that avoids judgment and defensiveness, and explain why this approach is more effective than using "You" language.

• "You didn't do your part, and that's why we failed."

• "I felt frustrated when the project wasn't completed on time because I was counting on everyone’s contributions."

• "You always let the group down, and it’s unfair."

• "If you had worked harder, we would have succeeded."

Analyze the impact of using "We" language in a conflict situation. How does it differ from "I" and "You" language in terms of responsibility and relationship building?

• "We" language blames the other person and creates distance.

• "We" language implies shared responsibility and fosters a sense of collaboration.

• "We" language ignores the problem and avoids responsibility.

• "We" language is the same as "You" language in its effect.

Given the definitions of "You," "I," and "We" language, evaluate which type of language would be most effective in resolving a misunderstanding between two colleagues and justify your choice.

• "You" language, because it directly addresses the other person's faults.

• "I" language, because it focuses on the speaker’s feelings and reactions without judgment.

• "We" language, because it ignores individual responsibility.

• "You" language, because it establishes authority.

Which message format on page 16 would likely make the listener feel better, and why? Use reasoning to support your answer.

• The first message, because it focuses on the speaker’s feelings only.

• The second message, because it acknowledges the shared space and makes a polite request.

• The first message, because it avoids making any requests.

• The second message, because it ignores the speaker’s feelings.

Given the scenario where you have lent your car to a friend who continues to smoke in it despite your request not to, use the assertive message format described in the material to construct a response. Explain your reasoning for including each of the five parts in your message and how they contribute to effective self-advocacy.

• The five parts ensure your message is clear, nonjudgmental, and addresses both your needs and the other person's behavior, making it more likely to result in a positive outcome.

• The five parts are only necessary if you want to criticize the other person harshly.

• The five parts are used to avoid any confrontation and ignore your own needs.

• The five parts are optional and do not impact the effectiveness of your message.

Analyze why the Win-Win Problem-Solving method favors “We” language over “I” language, especially in conflict situations.

• “We” language makes the conversation less personal and more formal.

• “We” language assumes that a mutually satisfying solution is possible and encourages collaboration.

• “We” language is less effective in resolving conflicts than “I” language.

• “We” language is only used in written communication, not verbal.

Given the six steps of the Win-Win Problem Solving Approach, which step is most critical for ensuring both parties’ perspectives are considered, and why?

• Make a Date, because scheduling is the most important part.

• Consider Your Partner’s Point of View, because it ensures empathy and understanding, which are essential for a mutually beneficial solution.

• Follow Up the Solution, because it is the final step.

• Describe Your Problem and Needs, because only your needs matter.

After implementing a solution to a conflict, what is the strategic importance of following up, and how can this step contribute to long-term problem-solving success?

• It is unnecessary, as the problem is already solved.

• It allows you to discuss the progress, make adjustments if needed, and encourages ongoing creativity in problem-solving.

• It only serves to remind everyone of the conflict.

• It is only important if the solution fails.