Healthy Communication Responses

Your friend didn’t respond to your message about a shared project.

How can you respond in a healthy way?

• Why don’t you ever communicate properly?

• When you didn’t reply to my message about the project, I felt unsure and a bit stuck on how to move forward.

• You’re terrible at communicating.

• So I guess I’m just doing the whole thing myself again.

You were left to clean up alone after a club event.

Which is the best way to express your feelings?

• You always disappear when there’s work to do.

• You never help with anything!

• Why am I the only one who cares?

• When I ended up cleaning up by myself after the event, I felt a bit overwhelmed and like we weren’t working as a team.

Your roommate left dishes in the sink for two days.

Which is a healthy way to bring this up?

• Stop being so lazy.

• You never do your part.

• When the dishes were left for two days, I felt overwhelmed and like I had to do it all myself.

• This place is always a mess because of you.

Your partner has been distracted during conversations lately.

What’s the healthiest way to bring this up?

• You’re not even capable of paying attention.

• You never really listen to me.

• Talking to you is pointless.

• When you were on your phone while I was talking yesterday, I felt disconnected and like what I was saying didn’t really matter.

Your partner cancels plan last minute - again.

How can you respond in a healthy way?

• When you cancelled plans last minute again this weekend, I felt disappointed and like I wasn’t part of your priorities.

• You’re so unreliable. I’m done.

• Ugh, this is just like you.

• You obviously don’t care about me.

You suggested doing something fun together last weekend, but your partner brushed it off.

How can you respond using a healthy WWA-style statement?

• You never want to do anything I suggest anyway.

• Last weekend, I felt like we were disconnected and I just really missed spending time with you.

• You always shut down any idea that doesn’t come from you.

• When you brushed off my suggestion to go out and do something fun last weekend, I felt uncared for. I really miss doing fun things together - that helps me feel close to you.

You calmly tell your partner that it hurt your feelings when they forgot to tell you they were going out with friends. They respond: “Yeah? Well, what about last week when you didn’t answer my texts all day?”

What communication error is this?

• Mind reading

• Labeling

• Switching the blame/ Cross-complaining

• Avoidance

You forgot to message your partner after they got home late. He said: “You just did that on purpose to get back at me because you’re still mad about yesterday.” What communication error is this?

• Mind reading

• Labeling

• Blaming

• Stonewalling

Your teammate made a mistake during a group presentation. You said: “You’re so clueless and incapable - it’s embarrassing.”

What communication error is this?

• Mind reading

• Labeling / Name-calling

• Overgeneralization

• Defensiveness

You were late replying to your girlfriend's message. She said: “You always ignore me when I actually need you.”

What communication error is this?

• Labeling

• Blaming

• Overgeneralization

• Mind reading