Never have I ever gone to school sick because getting a sub was more difficult.

Never have I ever told a student "Great question, will come back to that later..", because I had no idea what the answer was.

Never have I ever completely winged a lesson without any plan.

Never have I ever eaten a stray piece of candy found in my desk drawer without knowing how long it's been there.

Never have I ever left the copy machine jammed.

Never have I ever verbally insulted, and physically struck the copy machine.

Never have I ever do a "mental happy dance" when that student is absent. 

Never have I ever Google things that my students say.

Never have I ever text each other during faculty meetings.