Narrative Peer Editing Prep

Narrative Peer Editing Prep

Credits

Some items in this presentation are used courtesy of the Purdue Owl Writing Lab

https://owl.purdue.edu/owl/purdue_owl.html

Multiple Choice

Is this an example of active or passive voice?

The money was counted by the cashier.

• Active voice

• Passive voice

Multiple Choice

Is this an example of active or passive voice?

The dog chased the squirrel.

• Active

• Passive

Open Ended

Change this from the passive to the active voice.

Your bicycle was damaged by someone.

Open Ended

Change this from the passive to the active voice.

The entrance exam was failed by over one third of the applicants.

Sentence Variety

Engaging writing includes a variety of sentence types and those of different lengths.

Similar Sentence Length and Types

Many really good blues guitarists have all had the last name King. They have been named Freddie King and Albert King and B.B. King. The name King must make a bluesman a really good bluesman. The bluesmen named King have all been very talented and good guitar players. The claim that a name can make a guitarist good may not be that far-fetched.

Same Content, but With Variety

What makes a good bluesman? Maybe, just maybe, it's all in a stately name. B.B. King. Freddie King. Albert King. It's no coincidence that they're the royalty of their genre. When their fingers dance like court jesters, their guitars gleam like scepters, and their voices bellow like regal trumpets, they seem almost like nobility. Hearing their music is like walking into the throne room. They really are kings.

Adding Variety to Sentence Openings

If too many sentences start with the same word, especially The, It, This, or I, prose can grow tedious for readers, so changing opening words and phrases can be refreshing. Different beginnings can alter not only the structure but also the emphasis of the sentence. They may also require rephrasing in sentences before or after this one, meaning that one change could lead to an abundance of sentence variety.

Example

The biggest coincidence that day happened when David and I ended up sitting next to each other at the Super Bowl.

How can we keep the content of this sentence the same, but start with a word other than "The?"

Open Ended

Rewrite the sentence so that it doesn't begin with "The."

The biggest coincidence that day happened when David and I ended up sitting next to each other at the Super Bowl.

Open Ended

Rewrite this sentence so that it doesn't begin with "The." Your sentence should include a comma.

The room fell silent when the TV newscaster reported the story of the earthquake.

Adding Relevant Details

Paint a Picture for the Reader

The more specific and detailed you can be in your writing, the better. This is especially true with narrative writing.

Open Ended

Add relevant details to this statement.

It rained all day so I stayed in the house and played video games.

(Who, what, when, where...see, hear, touch, taste, smell)

Open Ended

What are two things you can immediately do when revising your narrative based on this mini-lesson?