How to Be a Good Friend

How to Be a Good Friend

Multiple Choice

Having just 1 close friend makes you healthier.

• True

• False

True

• We need companionship to get by & thrive

• Social connection is a basic human need

• We need friends to feel happy & healthy

• Scientists are now realizing that having close friendships during the teen years is even more important than they thought

• A new study shows that a teen who had 1 close friend - rather than a big group of buds - had a greater sense of self-worth at 25

What's Your Friend IQ?

Choose the best answer - then we will look at which course of action makes you a pro BFF

Multiple Choice

A close bud of yours is clearly ticked off at you, and you have no idea why. You...

• ask a mutual friend what's up

• pretend everything's normal & see if her bad mood goes away

• find time alone with her & say, "I've noticed you haven't been talking to me as much lately - everything ok?"

Best Answer C...

• Bringing in a 3rd person is tempting but is just gossiping

• Giving a little space is sometimes helpful but can cause you more stress

• When the tension is moderate to severe or persists more than a few days - it's best to collect your courage & speak to the friend directly

• No Matter what's happened, caring is the universal language of reconnection

• Take a deep breath & let her know you're there for her & LISTEN while she explains

Multiple Choice

You've made friends with a new kid at school & discovered you both like making music. But your longtime friends don't like him. You...

• Keep inviting him to group gatherings until they can see how great he is

• hang out with him when your other friends aren't around

• stop talking to him - it's really not worth it

Best Answer: B

• We all want to fit in with our friends & be liked & accepted

• It stinks when you're making the nice move like befriending the new kid & your friends aren't on board

• Your friends probably like that you're friendly, confident & kind - continue to show these by talking up the "new friend"

• If they can't deal with it, ask yourself if those friends are friends you want to have

Multiple Choice

You were invited to the class president Jake's birthday bash...but your friends weren't. They ask what you're up to Friday. You...

• make up a family obligationi

• say "I'm actually going to Jake's party that night"

• tell them, "I'm not sure yet" & then change the subject

Best Answer: B

• Little "white" lies can get us into trouble - if a picture of you at the party ends up on Instagram, your friends will NOT be pleased

• Tell the TRUTH but also make it clear that you value their friendship as well

• Try to make plans another day to validate your friendship with them

The 3 Cardinal Rules of Being

Answer True or False to each rule

Multiple Choice

It's ok to disagree

• True

• False

True

• If somebody posts about something they feel strongly about (that could be anything from politics to a movie) - and you completely disagree - that's OK

• You do NOT have to set them straight or tell them they're wrong

• You can disagree with their take but still accept that it's their experience

Multiple Choice

You should only check-in on your friends during bad times

• True

• False

False

• If your friend is worried about an upcoming game or test - send a text wishing them good luck

• If a friend just broke up with her boyfriend & is dreading weekends - let her know you know it's a hard time & offer to make plans to do something fun

• Tuning in to how a friend is feeling & when they need you offline too lets them know they're important to you & you care

Multiple Choice

Don't say anything you don't want screenshotted.

• True

• False

True

• Don't say what you wouldn't say in person

Different Ways to Be a Friend

Multiple Choice

You can't be a friend if you don't talk.

• True

• False

False - you can shut up & show you care at the same time!!

• Hug it Out - It triggers the release of oxytocin, a brain chemical that makes you both feel good

• Show Up - Go to a friend's game or school play. Your presence proves you support him

• Send a Funny GIF - If you know a friend's having a bad day, text them a puppy GIF's to make them smile

• Remember Hobbies or Favorites - You friend loves sea turtles, & on your family vacation - you found turtle stuff - Pick up one for them

• Make Eye Contact - Even as you're walking down the hall. A simple kind look makes people feel seen.

• Listen - Put your phone down & really lend an ear

Friend First Aid

Your friend just really burned you. Answer True or False to each way to "heal the hurt"

Multiple Choice

To solve a problem with a friend - you MUST talk to the right away.

• True

• False

False - Buy some time

• You can say, "Whoa, I need a minute" or "I don't want to freak out at you, so let's talk tomorrow."

• When you feel like you've been blindsided, you can't say friendship-salvaging things you want to say, so buy yourself cool-down time

Multiple Choice

You should assess yourself before addressing a friend that has hurt you.

• True

• False

True - Observe

• Hit pause & silently analyze the feelings & sensations in your body

• Maybe your heart's racing, your shoulders are tense, or you feel anger & shame

• "Noticing & describing what's happening slows things down, so you can choose how to respond instead of just lashing out."

• 
  

• 
  

• 
  

Multiple Choice

You should say the first thing that comes to mind when working through a problem with a friend.

• True

• False

False - Craft a Response

• It should have 2 parts: a statement of how you feel & a request for what you'd like to happen next

• No Yelling!

• "I was hurt when you said that about my brother. In the future, could you not talk about him that way?"

Multiple Choice

It may be a good idea to rehearse what you want to say to a friend that has hurt you.

• True

• False

True - Speak Up

• If you've given yourself a whole day to reflect, jot that response down & say it aloud a few times

• This will help it roll off the tongue

• If you're having this talk in real life - rehearse your reply in your mind a couple times first

Multiple Choice

Listening is important to strengthening friendships too.

• True

• False

True - Move On

• You've just shown your friend how you feel

• Now listen

• By opening yourself to real talk, you're strengthening your friendship

• Letting a friend know you care about the friendship goes a long way