PSED - behaviour

PSED - behaviour - dealing with racism

in the early years

Reference - BBC Tiny Happy People

Blog written by Uju Asika

Open Ended

What examples of behaviour might we see in the early years that could be considered racist?

Example:

Picture this: you’re on an outing at the local park when a man walks by wearing a traditional Sikh turban. A child stares and points.

"Why’s that man wearing a funny hat? And why is his face so brown?"

You are embarrassed. Your first instinct might be to hush your child and offer an apologetic smile. But is that the right response?

Open Ended

What would be a positive response?

KIND

Keep calm and be KIND. The best way to handle awkward questions is calmly and factually. Try the KIND approach:

Be kind

Use inclusive language

Stick to what they need to know – according to their age and the context

Be as direct as possible – keep your answer short, simple and truthful

You could say something like: "Yes, that man is brown. Isn’t it wonderful how we are all different colours?" or "He is wearing a turban because his hair is important and he wants to keep it safe, so he stands out and can be proud. Doesn’t it look smart?".

KIND approach - continued

If you are totally caught off guard, remember to take a breath and smile before you try to answer. Your child will respond not only to the words you use but how you react to their question. When you shush a child or clam up yourself, they get the impression that there’s something wrong with mentioning race. Maybe even that there’s something wrong with racial difference. The last thing you want to do is shame your child for their curiosity.

Depending on the situation, you could simply say: "That’s a really good question. Shall we talk about it more later on?".

Open Ended

At what age do children become aware of race? What is a good age to have conversations about diversity and inclusion?

Never too young!

You might be tempted to put off talking about race until children are much older. Maybe you think they’re too little or you don’t want to put ideas in their head.

But the truth is that even very young children are picking up messages about race and ethnicity every single day, from all around us.

Studies reveal that by age 2, children start sorting themselves into groups showing what is known as in-group bias. In other words, children in the playground might choose to play with children who are more like them, while excluding others.

According to research, even babies at 3 months old can tell different races apart. However, young babies don’t attach any specific emotion or value judgement to race. That happens over time, based on what we learn from our environment. So, you should be proactive about tackling negative mindsets from early on.

Open Ended

What are positive ways to talk to children about diversity?

Talking points

Start with what’s familiar. You could talk about your own ethnic background and how all our ancestors came from different parts of the world, which is why there’s such variety in how we look, dress or speak.

Don’t shy away from using terms like Black or White to describe skin tone. It’s important for a child to understand that being White or Black or Brown is not just about the colour of your skin but your experience as a member of society.

You could talk about how being White might give you certain advantages – for instance, you are more likely to see people who look like you on TV. However, White people can choose to use their advantages to help make a fairer world for all.

These are big topics, so don’t try to cram in everything at once. The trick is to take it at your child’s pace and keep checking in as they grow older.

Parents and Carers

For parents of colour, talking about race can trigger difficult emotions.

Don’t avoid telling children about racism because it’s scary. We all want to keep our babies safe and often the best way to keep them safe is by telling them the truth. Racism, global warming, road accidents – these are all part of human experience.

If your child is very little, keep it simple. Bad things happen and there are bad people too. However, there are many ways to get help or take a stand against racism.

Empower children to see themselves as someone who can make a difference, no matter how little they are.

Show them how to use their big voice to speak out when someone says or does something unkind. Teach children how to say a firm ‘stop’ or ‘no’ or ‘I don’t like that’ when somebody’s behaviour crosses the line. Give them simple phrases to use like 'That's not fair', 'That's not true', 'That's not kind'.

Stories are especially powerful because they allow a child to see through another person’s eyes.

Look for stories that talk positively about skin colour and identity. But also look for stories about everyday boys and girls who just happen to have different backgrounds and skin colours.

Talking about race shouldn’t always focus on what makes us different but what makes us unique, what makes us happy, what makes us human. Stuff that any child can relate to.

Helpful resources

• Jo Jo and Gran Gran

• Doc McStuffins

• Bino & Fino

• Everywhere Babies by Susan Meyers

• I Am Brown by Ashok Banker

• Mixed: A Colourful Story by Arree Chung

• Sulwe by Lupita Nyong’o