Chapter# 4 Descriptive writing

Chapter# 4 Descriptive writing

By joseph martin

​Explaining how writers use descriptive techniques

​When writing about a text, you need to comment on the different techniques of language and structure the writer has used to get their ideas across the reader.

​As well as using vocabulary and imagery, writers make use of sounds, repetition and different sentence types to help the reader picture the scene being described.

​Read the following extract.

​The police patrol ship whirred through the air as if it checked on the servants living in the apartment blocks. Each of the vast, steel buildings held one thousand apartments, and each apartment was fronted by a huge glass window so the servants could be monitored easily. It was past curfew time and anyone not asleep would be arrested and punished. Violently. Everything was silent except for the low rumble of the patrol ship’s engine. Everyone had learned, past 8pm, to stay in bed, their eyes closed, their breathing slow, hoping they looked asleep.

​Find an example of the descriptive techniques form the text.

​Ex: Repetition - Using a word more than once to highlight its importance: " apartments"(this word has been repeated several times in the text)

Open Ended

The police patrol ship whirred through the air as if it checked on the servants living in the apartment blocks. Each of the vast, steel buildings held one thousand apartments, and each apartment was fronted by a huge glass window so the servants could be monitored easily. It was past curfew time and anyone not asleep would be arrested and punished. Violently. Everything was silent except for the low rumble of the patrol ship’s engine. Everyone had learned, past 8pm, to stay in bed, their eyes closed, their breathing slow, hoping they looked asleep.

1- List (A sentence that contains several linked images in order to build up an idea)

Open Ended

The police patrol ship whirred through the air as if it checked on the servants living in the apartment blocks. Each of the vast, steel buildings held one thousand apartments, and each apartment was fronted by a huge glass window so the servants could be monitored easily. It was past curfew time and anyone not asleep would be arrested and punished. Violently. Everything was silent except for the low rumble of the patrol ship’s engine. Everyone had learned, past 8pm, to stay in bed, their eyes closed, their breathing slow, hoping they looked asleep.

2- short sentence (A sentence that goes across an important idea without using many words.)

Open Ended

The police patrol ship whirred through the air as if it checked on the servants living in the apartment blocks. Each of the vast, steel buildings held one thousand apartments, and each apartment was fronted by a huge glass window so the servants could be monitored easily. It was past curfew time and anyone not asleep would be arrested and punished. Violently. Everything was silent except for the low rumble of the patrol ship’s engine. Everyone had learned, past 8pm, to stay in bed, their eyes closed, their breathing slow, hoping they looked asleep.

3- onomatopoeia (A word that sounds similar to the actual sound it is describing.)

​2- The text imagines a futuristic city where there are many strict rules and everybody is scared. How does the writer use repetition, short sentences, lists and onomatopoeia to convey this sense of fear? Write a sentence on each of these techniques. For example:

The patrol ship is presented as frightening through the word ‘rumble’, which uses onomatopoeia to link the police to something threatening like thunder.​

Open Ended

​The police patrol ship whirred through the air as if it checked on the servants living in the apartment blocks. Each of the vast, steel buildings held one thousand apartments, and each apartment was fronted by a huge glass window so the servants could be monitored easily. It was past curfew time and anyone not asleep would be arrested and punished. Violently. Everything was silent except for the low rumble of the patrol ship’s engine. Everyone had learned, past 8pm, to stay in bed, their eyes closed, their breathing slow, hoping they looked asleep

2- Short sentences

Open Ended

​The police patrol ship whirred through the air as if it checked on the servants living in the apartment blocks. Each of the vast, steel buildings held one thousand apartments, and each apartment was fronted by a huge glass window so the servants could be monitored easily. It was past curfew time and anyone not asleep would be arrested and punished. Violently. Everything was silent except for the low rumble of the patrol ship’s engine. Everyone had learned, past 8pm, to stay in bed, their eyes closed, their breathing slow, hoping they looked asleep

3- Onomatopoeia

Open Ended

​The police patrol ship whirred through the air as if it checked on the servants living in the apartment blocks. Each of the vast, steel buildings held one thousand apartments, and each apartment was fronted by a huge glass window so the servants could be monitored easily. It was past curfew time and anyone not asleep would be arrested and punished. Violently. Everything was silent except for the low rumble of the patrol ship’s engine. Everyone had learned, past 8pm, to stay in bed, their eyes closed, their breathing slow, hoping they looked asleep

1- Repetition

​Follow the following structure to explain how a writer uses descriptive features to get across their ideas.

•State a clear idea about what the writer has done in the text.

•Support your idea with a quotation as evidence.

•Explain how specific features of your quotation are used by the writer.

Read the following extract. The highlighted sections show how the writer has tried to create a  harsh, wintry setting and develop an atmosphere of fear.​

​Ser Waymar looked him over with open disapproval. ‘I am not going back to Castle Black a failure on my first ranging. We will find these men.’ he glanced around. ‘Up the tree. Be quick about it. Look for a fire.

Will turned away, wordless. There was no use to argue. The wind was moving. It cut right through him. He went to the tree, a vaulting grey-green sentinel, and began to climb. Soon his hands were sticky with sap, and he was lost among the needles. Fear filled his guts like a meal he could not digest.  Down below, the lording called out suddenly, ‘Who goes there?’ Will heard uncertainty in the challenge. He stopped climbing; he listened; he watched. The woods gave answer: the rustle of leaves, the icy rush of the stream, a distant hoot of a snow owl. The others made no sound. Will saw movement from the corner of his eye. Pale shapes gliding through the woods. He turned his head, glimpsed a white shadow in the darkness. Then it was gone. Branches stirred gently in the wind, scratching at one another with wooden fingers. Will opened his mouth to call down a warning, and the words seemed to freeze in his throat. Perhaps he was wrong. Perhaps it had only been a bird, a reflection on the snow, some trick of the moonlight. What had he seen, after all? ‘Will, where are you?’ Ser Waymar called up. ‘Can you see anything?’ He was turning in a slow circle, suddenly wary, his sword in hand. He must have felt them, as Will felt them. There was nothing to see. ‘Answer me! Why is it so cold?’ It was cold. Shivering. Will clung more tightly to his perch. His face pressed hard against the trunk of the sentinel. He could feel the sweet, sticky sap on his cheek. A shadow merged from the dark of the wood.

​from the text

• Sentinel: a person or thing that watches(often on guard and from high up)

• Metaphor: the comparison makes the wind seem dangerous

• Adverb: 'suddenly' makes the reader feel how on edge the characters must be.

• Onomatopoeia: the sound helps the the reader imagine the setting. It is eerily quiet and the sudden noise of the bird might scare Will.

• Rethorical question: ​Will is questioning his surroundings; he is anxious and feels in danger

​Choose the correct answer to connect the verbs and the nouns to make strong word partnerships.

Multiple Choice

2- undergo

• humilliation

• treatment

• history

• Journey

Multiple Choice

1- Take

• control

• blue

• shirt

• nonsense

Multiple Choice

2- suffer

• humulliation

• wit

• trend

• deadline

Multiple Choice

3- display

• history

• good manners

• airplain

• journey

Multiple Choice

4- change

• white

• history

• floor

• red

Multiple Choice

5- extend

• history

• deadline

• suffering

• leaves

Multiple Choice

6- go

• dancing

• to stop

• wear

• carry bags

Multiple Choice

7- do

• computer

• laundry

• baseball

• football