Conflict Resolution

Conflict Resolution

By Josh Belford

I Can Statement

​Objective

"I can describe the benefits of using nonviolent ways to solve conflict with people."

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What are we doing?

1. Look at some images

2. ​Read about and discuss the images

3. Answer questions as we go​

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Poll

Would you like to be able to deal with conflict and be treated by others in safe, peaceful and fair ways?

• Yes

• No

We are going to think about 3 questions you can ask yourself to help manage a conflict.

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​3 Questions to Manage Conflict

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Multiple Choice

True of False: You should feel safe first, so then you can solve a conflict.

• True

• False

Multiple Choice

Which is the more peaceful option?

• be flexible and compromise

• always ignore the other person

Multiple Choice

Should we agree and act fair?

• yes

• no

1. Do I feel safe?

2. Can I be flexible and compromise?

3. Can we agree and act?​

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​When you have a problem with somebody, ask these three (3) questions:

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Multiple Choice

The word flexible means:

• able to bend or move easily

• see other points of view or change your mind

Multiple Choice

When both sides are willing, can you reach a fair solution?

• yes

• no

Open Ended

Type it out: What kinds of things can help you decide if a conflict is safe?

What kinds of things can help you decide if a conflict is safe?

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You know the other person or people well enough to trust they will not try to hurt you.

Other Person

You feel safe.

​You

Open Ended

What tells you that both sides are ready to be flexible and compromise?

What tells you that both sides are ready to be flexible and compromise?

People seem relaxed and are asking questions such as:

• "What do you think we should do?"

• Or they are saying, "We can work this out."

• Or, people are willing to listen when you say these kinds of things.

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Open Ended

What tells you that people are ready to agree and act to solve the conflict?

What tells you that people are ready to agree and act to solve the conflict?

​Action is possible when:

• Either side is satisfied with the solution and willing to take the first step.

• You might think that solving conflicts in this way would take a long time, but it doesn't. When you learn to think in the ways we've been talking about, it soon becomes a natural and easy thing to do. ​

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Let me explain...

Dealing with conflict in a safe, peaceful and fair way only works when both sides feel and think this way. Otherwise the conflict could turn serious. 

Being able to handle conflict in safe, peaceful and fair ways is the best and safest way to deal with conflict. 

Always remember, if a conflict begins to turn serious and there is a risk of getting hurt, it is time to ask for help.

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Six (6) Ways to Deal with Conflict

• ​If everyone agreed all the time, the world might be boring. Different ideas and points of view help make life interesting. But what do you do in different ways of thinking or seeing things result in a conflict? 

• Often, you can work out simple conflicts in ways that are safe, peaceful and fair for everyone. Here are ideas that can help.

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1. Talk it out.

In a conflict, both sides want to feel heard and understood. Share your point of you or how you feel. Say what you need and want. Then, and this is important, listen! Find out what the other person thinks, feels, needs and wants.

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2. Try to see the other side.

Put yourself in the other person's shoes. Think about what it would be like to be on the other side of the conflict. Try to understand why the other person might think or feel this way.

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3. Say you're sorry.

Sometimes a conflict happens because of something you said or did. For example, you bump into someone in the hall. Or you do something your mom or dad asked you not to do. In this case, saying you’re sorry often helps the other person feel better.

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4. Suggest ways to solve the problem.

Think of safe, peaceful and fair ways to work things out. Use what you’ve learned from talking it out and trying to see the other person's side to think of a solution you both can accept.

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5. Be flexible and compromise.

When you are flexible you are able to accept other ideas or change your mind when you compromise, both sides give up something to get most of what they want. Be ready and willing to shift your thinking or give a little of what you want so that you can solve the conflict.

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6. Get help.

Sometimes a conflict can become serious. If you can’t resolve using the steps, or if you or someone else is in danger of being hurt, it’s time to get help.

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Multiple Choice

If you are walking in the hallway and accidentally bump into somebody, you should:

• Ignore them, it was just an accident.

• Apologize and tell them it was an accident.

Open Ended

Type it out: What else could you do or say if you accidentally bumped into somebody in the hallway?

Multiple Choice

If somebody gets mad at you because you didn't see them wave at you, you should:

• say, "I didn't see you wave at me--sorry about that!"

• ignore them, its not your fault you didn't see them wave

Multiple Choice

You are feeling frustrated by someone else's behavior. You should:

• use an I statement to explain how you feel ('I feel...')

• grumble under your breath and hope they get the point

• complain to someone else about them

• accuse them of being annoying ('You are...')

Multiple Choice

Which is true about conflicts?

• The more people you involve, the better.

• Talking behind someone's back really helps.

• Asking to speak directly with the person you are mad at is a good first step.

• It's a good idea to tell all of your friends what the someone did to upset you, so they can be mad with you.

Multiple Choice

Active listening is:

• All of these!

• Listening carefully to the other person's words.

• Taking time to understand the other person's perspective.

Multiple Choice

What type of resolution is best?

• Lose-Lose (no one gets what they want)

• Win-Lose (only one person gets what they want)

• Win-Win (both people benefit)

Multiple Choice

Blaming, yelling, avoiding, and eye rolling are:

• Great ideas for problem solving

• Common roadblocks to problem solving

• Helpful during active listening

Multiple Choice

What is reporting?

• The same as tattling

• The same as snitching

• Getting help from someone to solve a problem