revise draft

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LO: SWBAT revise drafts to improve sentence structure and word choice by adding, deleting, combining, and rearranging ideas for coherence and clarity. 

​I Do

​I Do

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A. Sometimes we cook dinner, ride our bikes, or walk in the park together.

B. Sometimes all together we cook dinner, ride our bikes or walk in the park.

C. Sometimes all together we cook dinner, ride our bikes or walk in the park as a group.

​We do

​Ink Pair Share

Multiple Choice

(11) When it’s time to leave and go, she gives me a warm hug and cupcakes to take home!

What is the best way to revise sentence 11 to avoid repeating an idea?

• When it's time to leave and go, she gave me a warm hug.

• When it’s time to go, she gives me a warm hug and cupcakes to take home!

  
  

• When it's time to go, she gave me warm hugs and warm cupcakes!

• No changes needed

Multiple Choice

The dentist handed and gave Mitchell a tiny, small airplane toy.

How should sentence 1 be revised so that it does not repeat information?

• 
  The dentist handed and gave Mitchell a tiny, small toy.

• The dentist handed Mitchell a tiny, small airplane.

• The dentist gave Mitchell a small airplane toy.

• No changes are needed

Multiple Choice

(1) Changes in weather affect what we do each day. (2) For this reason, we should make our own outdoor center to measure the weather. (3) A few simple tools would help students understand more about weather, the tools would be helpful.

How should sentence 3 be revised so that it does not repeat information?

• 1. A few simple tools would help students, the tools would be helpful.

• 1. A few simple tools would help students understand more about weather, would be helpful.

• 1. A few simple tools would help students understand more about weather.

• 1. No change is needed. 

Ink Pair Share
Modified Whip Around
White Board

Multiple Choice

(1) On Friday morning, Mitchell went to the dentist Friday.

How should sentence 1 be revised so that it does not repeat information?

• On Friday morning, Mitchell went to the dentist.

• Friday is the day of the dentist.

• 1. Mitchell and the dentist on Friday.

• 1. Mitchell went to the dentist every Friday.

​Exit Ticket

Multiple Choice

(6) These tools would allow us to predict and guess how the weather might change over time.

How should sentence 6 be revised so that it does not repeat information?

• 1. These tools would allow us to predict how the weather might change over time. 

• These tools would allow us to predict and guess how it might change over time.

• 1. These tools would allow us to predict and guess. 

• 1. No change is needed.