Revising Sentences

Identify Clues in the Given Sentence
Let’s look at a short paragraph and practice:

By Emily Floyd

​ (1) Mia loves reading adventure books. (2) She enjoys stories about brave explorers and hidden treasures. (3) One of her favorite books is The Lost Island Mystery.

​Question: Which sentence BEST follows and supports sentence 2?

Multiple Choice

The new community garden has brought many neighbors together.

Which sentence BEST follows and supports sentence 2?

• A. Many people enjoy spending time outdoors.
  

• B. The garden provides a space where residents can grow vegetables and share their harvest.
  

• C. Some neighborhoods have parks instead of gardens

• D. Gardening can be a fun hobby for people of all ages.

Multiple Choice

Jane practiced playing the piano every day after school.

Which sentence BEST follows and supports sentence 2?

• A. Her favorite subject in school is math.
  
  

• B. She enjoys listening to music on the radio.
  

• C. After weeks of practice, she finally mastered his favorite song.
  

• D. Pianos can be found in many concert halls.

Multiple Choice

 (1) The science fair was a big event at our school. (2) Students displayed their projects in the gymnasium. (3) _________

Which sentence BEST follows and supports sentence 2?

•  a) The teachers canceled the fair because of bad weather.
  
  

  
  

• b) The judges walked around, asking students about their experiments.

• c) Science can be a very difficult subject.

Open Ended

Justify your answer: Why do you think that your choice is the best sentence to follow after sentence 2?

When a question asks "Which sentence should be removed from the paragraph?", it means we need to find a sentence that:
❌ Does NOT match the topic of the paragraph.
❌ Interrupts the logical flow of ideas.
❌ Repeats information that has already been stated.

 (1) Penguins are fascinating animals that live in cold regions. (2) They have thick feathers and layers of fat to keep them warm. (3) Some penguins can swim over 20 miles per hour. (4) Many birds migrate to warmer places in the winter. (5) Penguins use their flippers to move quickly in the water.

Question: Which sentence should be removed from the paragraph?

 Think Aloud:

• Sentences 1, 2, 3, and 5 talk about penguins—where they live, how they survive, and how they move.

• Sentence 4 suddenly talks about other birds migrating—but the paragraph is about penguins!

• Since sentence 4 does not match the main idea, it should be removed.

Multiple Choice

 (1) The library is a great place to read and learn new things. (2) It has many different types of books, including fiction and non-fiction. (3) Reading every day helps improve your vocabulary and comprehension. (4) My friend and I went to a basketball game last night. (5) The library also has computers that students can use for research.

Which sentence should be removed from the paragraph?

•  a) Sentence 2
  

• b) Sentence 3
  

• c) Sentence 4

Multiple Choice

A Determined Athlete

1 James trained for years and competed in many local races. 2 He finally qualified for the national championship. 3 The championship event is always held on the second Saturday in August. 4 James knew this was his big chance to prove himself. 5 He ran his best race ever and crossed the finish line in first place. 6 James became the youngest champion in the history of the event.

Question:

Which sentence should be removed from this paragraph?

• A. sentence 2
  

• B. sentence 3
  

• C. sentence 4
  

• D. sentence 5

Removing a Repetitive Sentence

 When a question asks "Which sentence in this paragraph repeats information and should be removed?", we need to:
✔ Look for a sentence that says the same idea as another sentence.
✔ Identify if the sentence is unnecessary because the information has already been stated.
✔ Remove it to make the paragraph more concise and avoid redundancy.

Multiple Choice

 (1) Dolphins are intelligent animals that communicate using clicks and whistles. (2) They can solve problems and recognize themselves in mirrors. (3) Dolphins are also known for their intelligence and problem-solving skills. (4) Some dolphins have been trained to help rescue people in the ocean.

Question: Which sentence in this paragraph repeats information and should be removed?

• Sentence 1

• Sentence 2

• Sentence 3

Open Ended

Justify your answer on why you think your choice should be removed.

Multiple Choice

 (1) Ice cream is a popular dessert that comes in many flavors. (2) Some of the most popular flavors include chocolate, vanilla, and strawberry. (3) Many people enjoy chocolate, vanilla, and strawberry ice cream. (4) Ice cream is often eaten on hot days because it is cold and refreshing.

Question: Which sentence repeats information and should be removed?

•  a) Sentence 2

• Sentence 3

• Sentence 4

 Replacing a Sentence to Improve a Paragraph

  When a question asks:
✅ Which sentence would BEST replace sentence X to improve the opening?
✅ Which sentence would BEST replace sentence X to improve the closing?
✅ Which sentence would BEST replace sentence X to improve the focus of the paragraph?

We need to:
✔ Identify the purpose of the sentence we are replacing (Is it an introduction? A closing? A supporting detail?)
✔ Choose a replacement that better matches that purpose.
✔ Ensure the new sentence adds clarity or makes the paragraph more engaging and focused.

Multiple Choice

 (1) My dog is very special to me. (2) He always greets me at the door when I come home. (3) Sometimes, he even knows when I am sad and sits beside me to comfort me. (4) I can’t imagine my life without my dog.

Question: Which of the following sentences would BEST replace sentence 1 to improve the opening?

• a) I have a dog.
  
  

• b) Dogs make great pets for many reasons, but my dog is truly special.
  

• c) My dog is brown and fluffy.
  

• d) Every morning, my dog wakes me up by jumping on my bed.

Multiple Choice

 (1) The zoo is a great place to learn about animals. (2) You can see lions, tigers, and giraffes up close. (3) Some exhibits even let you feed the animals. (4) The zoo is interesting.

Question: Which sentence would BEST replace sentence 4 to create a stronger closing?

• a) The zoo is fun.
  

  
  

• b) That’s why I love visiting the zoo every chance I get!
  

• c) Animals live in many different places.
  

• d) The zoo has food stands, too.