Revising and Editing 4.16

Open Ended

Make the sentence better.
Refugees go through hard stuff and sometimes don't got help or a home.

Multiple Choice

Why do writers revise their work?

• To make their handwriting neater to make it easier to understand

• To improve their ideas, word choice, and organization

• To finish the assignment faster

• To add more punctuation

Multiple Choice

Why is it important to revise wordy or confusing sentences?

• To make them longer

• To make the writing sound smarter

• To make them clearer for the reader

• So no one else can understand it

Open Ended

Question: Why are revisions and editing necessary?
STEM: Revisions and editing are necessary, because _.

Multiple Choice

Question:
Which revision best improves the sentence below?

Original Sentence:
They may travel long distances on foot or by boat, facing many trouble along the way.

• They may travel long distances on foot or by boat, facing many troubles along the way.

• They may travel long distances on foot or by boat, facing many challenges along the way.

• They may travel long distances on foot or by boat, facing much challenge along the way.

• They may travel long distances on foot or by boat, facing challenge along the way.

Multiple Choice

Which of the following best explains why "such challenges" is a better word choice than "trouble" in the sentence below?

• “Such challenges” is easier to spell which makes it easier to understand for the reader.

• “Such challenges” uses more words and sounds longer.

• “Such challenges” is more academic and clearly describes the difficulties being faced.

• “Trouble” is not a real word.

Multiple Choice

Question:
Why is combining sentences (7) and (8) a more effective revision?

Original Sentences:
(7) Some refugees are able to return to their home countries when it becomes safe.
(8) Others must start over in a new country and build a new life from nothing.

Revised Sentence:
While some refugees return home when it is safe, others must begin again in a new country and rebuild their lives.

• It makes the paragraph longer and more detailed.

• It shows how all refugees return home eventually.

• It helps the writing flow better and connects related ideas.

• It uses bigger words to sound more advanced.

Open Ended

(2) Many of them have lived through scary things, like war or dangerous journeys.
The writer wants to use a more appropriate word than scary. Which word should replace scary?
STEM: A more appropraite word than scary would be _.

Open Ended

Original Sentence:
Learning in a new place can be really hard.

✍️ Your Task:
Rewrite the sentence using stronger, more academic word choices.

Multiple Choice

Question:
The writer wants to combine the ideas in sentences (6) and (7). What is the most effective way to revise these sentences?

(6) Support can be tutoring, language classes, or counselors who help students with emotions.
(7) Refugee students can be successful when they get the help they need.

• Refugee students can be successful when they attend school, and refugee students can be successful when they get the help they need.

• Support can help students succeed in many ways and when they get help that they need they can succeed.

• Refugee students can succeed when they receive support like tutoring, language classes, or emotional counseling.

• Refugee students are supported when they go to counseling.

Multiple Choice

Question:
What change needs to be made in sentence (2) to improve clarity and consistency?

Sentence (2):
These programs helped students learn English and adjust to their new environment.

• Change “helped” to “help” so the sentence is in present tense.

• Change “helped” to “helps” to match a singular subject.

• Remove “helped” and start the sentence with “Students learn...”

• Keep “helped” because past tense always sounds stronger.

Open Ended

 What change needs to be made in sentence (4)?
(4) Last year, one school in Texas offers a summer camp for refugee children to practice language skills.

Multiple Choice

What change needs to be made in sentence (4)?
(4) Some programs are supported by groups like unicef, which provides resources for schools around the world.

• Change unicef to Unicef to begin with a capital letter.

• Change unicef to U.N.I.C.E.F. to show it is an acronym.

• Change unicef to UNICEF to correctly capitalize the name of the organization.

• Do not change unicef because it is already correct.

Multiple Choice

What change needs to be made in sentence (3)?

(3) At jefferson middle school, teachers have created a mural project that lets students share their stories through painting.

• Add more details about the mural project.

• Change "painting" to "drawing" to make it clearer.

• Capitalize the proper nouns "jefferson middle school."

• Delete "teachers have created" to make the sentence shorter.

Multiple Choice

What was one revision made today that improved the writing?

• Adding emojis

• Rewriting a sentence with clearer, stronger words

• Changing a paragraph into a list to make it easier to understand

• Deleting the main idea

Multiple Choice

What should you do if you notice a verb tense that doesn’t match the rest of the paragraph?

• Ignore it because it doesn't make a huge difference in the reading

• Highlight it in a fun color

• Change it to match the tense throughout

• Rewrite the entire paragraph