ROCKIN STAAR REVISION STANLEY

(1) On January 15, 1919, an unexpected flood of molasses ran over the streets of Boston. (2) This swollen wave of syrup upended vehicles and destroyed buildings. (3) Without warning , the weight of the sticky substance crushed both people and animals.

The first hint of trouble came as a roar sounded from a massive storage tank filled with molasses. At the moment the rumbling was heard, the citizens had little time to react. A sudden explosion spewed two million gallons of thick molasses from the container. The sweet-smelling surge measured as tall as 30 feet in height. Buildings tumbled, and homes disappeared beneath the river of molasses. Brown syrup destroyed the northern section of the city as it swept the debris into the Boston Harbor.

Mary Anna needs to include a controlling idea in her paper.

Which sentence could BEST be inserted at the end of paragraph 1 (sentences 1-3) to accomplish this goal?

• This catastrophe proved to have serious effects for the city and its residents.

• The citizens of Boston will continue to remember this experience as challenging and important.

• This date in Boston was more famous than any other date recorded in history.

• Boston is a famous city that was the home of many important events in American history.

Tags

CCSS.RI.7.2

CCSS.RI.8.2

CCSS.RL.6.2

CCSS.RL.7.2

CCSS.RL.8.2

(1) On January 15, 1919, an unexpected flood of molasses ran over the streets of Boston. (2) This swollen wave of syrup upended vehicles and destroyed buildings. (3) Without warning , the weight of the sticky substance crushed both people and animals.

(4)The first hint of trouble came as a roar sounded from a massive storage tank filled with molasses. (5) At the moment the rumbling was heard, the citizens had little time to react. (6) A sudden explosion spewed two million gallons of thick molasses from the container. (7) The sweet-smelling surge measured as tall as 30 feet in height. (8) Buildings tumbled, and homes disappeared beneath the river of molasses. (9) Brown syrup destroyed the northern section of the city as it swept the debris into the Boston Harbor.

The following sentence need to be added to the second paragraph.

This gooey wave traveled at a rate if 35 miles per hour!

• After sentence 4

• After sentence 5

• After sentence 7

• After sentence 8

Tags

CCSS.RI.5.5

CCSS.RI.6.5

CCSS.RI.7.5

CCSS.RI.8.5

CCSS.RI.9-10.5

(1) Maddie McDermitt stared at the monstrous creation of food placed before her and wondered why sh had not kept her big mouth shut. (2) The mound on the plate was a mixture of many different cafeteria foods. (3) She stifled a gag as she considered the strange flavors and textures awaiting her taste buds.

Sentence 2 needs improving. How can sentence 2 be rewritten to provide more detail and imagery?

• The plate of food contained many different edible things that were mixed together in an unusual way.

• A slice of tasty pizza, which is on the plate, is Maddie's favorite food, but she did not like the other weird stuff on top of the pizza slice.

• Maddie was not ready to eat this conglomeration of food in front of her, even though she did enjoy eating the individual items.

• The mass of school cafeteria food included pizza soaked in chocolate milk on a bread of chips topped with lettuce, applesauce, yogurt, and salsa.

Tags

CCSS.RI.6.4

CCSS.RI.7.4

CCSS.RI.8.4

CCSS.RL.6.4

CCSS.RL.7.4

(1) Maddie grabbed the fork in front of her as someone shouted,"Go!" (2) She stabbed the pile of pizza that pulled a bite from its depths and shoved it into her mouth without thinking. (3) She tried to ignore the gross taste as she chewed and swallowed. (4) She, Maddie Collette MacDermitt, could do this. (5) She would conquer this challenge!

What is the BEST revision to make in sentence 2?

• She stabbed the pile of pizza and a bite from its depths and shoved it into her mouth without thinking.

• She stabbed the pile of pizza, pulled a bite from its depths, and shoved it into her mouth without thinking.

• She stabbed the pile of pizza, which pulled a bite from its depths, shoved it into her mouth without thinking.

• Sentence 2 does not need to be revised.

Tags

CCSS.RI.6.10

CCSS.RI.7.10

CCSS.RI.8.10

CCSS.RL.7.10

CCSS.RL.8.10

(1) Maddie told herself not to react to it. (2) She begged and pleaded with herself. (3)Maddie knew that remaining silent was her best chance to disguise her thoughts. (4) Still, her competitive nature would not allow a dare to pass unaccepted.

What is the BEST way to combine sentences 2 and 3.

• As she begged and pleaded with herself, Maddie knew that remaining silent was her best chance to disguise her thought.

• However, if she begged and pleaded with herself then Maddie knew that remaining silent was her best chance to disguise her thoughts.

• She begged and pleaded with herself; therefore, Maddie knew that remaining silent was her best chance to disguise her thoughts.

• Maddie knew that remaining silent, as she begged and pleaded with herself, was her best chance to disguise her thoughts.

Tags

CCSS.RI.7.1

CCSS.RI.8.1

CCSS.RL.6.2

CCSS.RL.7.1

CCSS.RL.7.2

(1) Slowly, but surely, the pile of food disappeared from Maddie's plate. (2) She paid no attention to the shouting from behind her. (3) Since she scooped up one last bite, Maddie turned to brave a look, for she was sure she had lost. (4) Maddie was surprised to see Seth grimacing and holding his stomach. (5) His plate was basically untouched.

Sentence 3 can be improved by changing Since to ....

• As

• If

• Provided that

• Even though

Tags

CCSS.RI.7.10

CCSS.RI.8.10

CCSS.RL.6.10

CCSS.RL.7.10

CCSS.RL.8.10