Revising

(10) There are no musical cues for the students to use as they march in the changing formations. (11) Furthermore, they walk in perfect step by following the direction of an announcer. (12) Directors bellow loud, sharp commands, such as “Front row, turn left!” and “Cross walk,” over a loudspeaker.

2.) J.T. wants to use a more appropriate transition in sentence 11.

Which of the following can best replace Furthermore in this sentence?

• F. For example

• G. In conclusion

• H. Overall

• J. Instead

Tags

Transitions

(15) A misstep by just one student creates a flaw in the perfectly coordinated display that is visible.

3.) What is the most effective revision to make in sentence 15?

• A. A misstep by just one student and a flaw is created that is visible in the perfectly coordinated display.

• B. A misstep by just one student creates a visible flaw in the perfectly coordinated display.

• C. A misstep by just one student creates a flaw in the perfectly coordinated display, the flaw is visible.

• D. A misstep by just one student creates a visible flaw that can be seen in the perfectly coordinated display.

Tags

CCSS.L.11-12.3A

CCSS.L.7.1C

6.) What is the most effective way to combine sentences 8 and 9?

(8) Bottled water may be attractively packaged. (9) It is simply processed tap water.

• F. Bottled water may be attractively packaged, but it is simply processed tap water.

• G. Bottled water is simply processed tap water because it is attractively packaged.

• H. Bottled water may be attractively packaged, so it is simply processed tap water.

• J. Bottled water is attractively packaged, because it is simply processed tap water

Tags

CCSS.L.3.1H

CCSS.L.4.2C

CCSS.L.5.1E

CCSS.L.7.1B

CCSS.L.9-10.2A

(14) The safety of bottled water not only raises health concerns, but bottled water is also significantly overpriced in comparison to tap water. ........(19) The unnecessary use of bottles causes environmental damage at several stages.

(7.) Mimi wants to improve the transition between the third paragraph (sentences 14–18) and the fourth paragraph (sentences 19–23).Which sentence can be added before sentence 19 to accomplish this goal?

• A. Because bottled water can cost so much, a reusable water bottle is a wise investment.

• B. People think bottled water is harmless, and other plastic containers are just as bad.

• C. Money is a concern for many people, so it should be saved whenever possible.

• D. Bottled water is a huge monetary expense, but the cost to our planet is even greater.

Tags

CCSS.RI. 9-10.2

CCSS.RI.11-12.2

CCSS.RI.8.2

CCSS.RL.8.2

CCSS.RL.9-10.2

(21) Also consider that chemicals are released by these many bottles when they are discarded into landfills over hundreds of years and decompose.

8.) What is the most effective way to revise sentence 21?

• F. Also consider that many bottles are discarded into landfills, where the bottles release chemicals as they decompose over hundreds of years.

• G. Also consider that landfills are filled with released chemicals, where they decompose many discarded bottles over hundreds of years.

• H. These bottles, decomposing over hundreds of years, should also be considered to release chemicals where they have been discarded into landfills.

• J. Over hundreds of years, landfills are filled with many bottles, and it should also be considered that the bottles decompose and release chemicals.

Tags

CCSS.L.11-12.3A

CCSS.L.7.1C

Sentence Combining:
Which of these is the correct way to join two sentences:

• He was practicing his soccer skills because he found a stray dog.
• He was practicing his soccer skills, there, he found a stray dog.
• He was practicing his soccer skills; and then found a stray dog.
• He was practicing his soccer skills when he found a stray dog. 

Tags

CCSS.L.9-10.2A

He was learning how to solve equations. He found a trick that would make it easier.
 
What is the most effective way to combine the 2 sentences? 

• While learning how to solve equations, he found a trick that would make it easier.
• He was learning how to solve equations because he found a trick that would make it easier.
• While learning how to solve equations, a trick that he figured out made it easier.
• He was learning to solves the equations, then, he found a trick that would make it easier. 

Tags

CCSS.RF.3.3B

CCSS.RF.3.3C

CCSS.RF.3.3D

CCSS.RF.4.3A

CCSS.RF.5.3A

Choose the sentence that is written correctly.

• We went to their house because there hosting a party.
• They're having a party at there house this weekend.
• We went to their house because they're hosting a party.
• There having a party at their house this weekend.

Tags

CCSS.L.3.1A

(5) Schools’ attendance lines are drawn around subdivisions.

(6) So students tend to attend school with other students of similar economic backgrounds.

What is the most effective way to combine sentences 5 and 6?

• Since the schools’ attendance lines are drawn around subdivisions, students tend to attend school with other students of similar economic backgrounds.

• Schools’ attendance lines are drawn around subdivisions, students tend to attend school with other students of similar economic backgrounds.

• Drawing attending lines around subdivisions and student are attending school with those of similar economic backgrounds.

• Schools’ attendance lines are drawn around subdivisions and students tend to attend school with other students of similar economic backgrounds.

Tags

CCSS.L.2.1F

CCSS.L.3.1H

CCSS.L.3.1I

CCSS.L.5.1E

CCSS.L.7.1B

Lydia had all day to prepare for the dinner party, so not only was the food excellent, and also the house was spotless.

• NO CHANGE
• but
• so
• yet

Tags

CCSS.L.1.1G

CCSS.L.3.1H

CCSS.L.5.1A

CCSS.L.5.1E