I-MESSAGES

This is an I-Message

"You are really making me mad"

• TRUE

• FALSE

Your classmates are distracting you while you try and work on a school assignment. You don't want to be mean but you want to focus. What I-Message could you use?

• I feel distracted when there is noise around me, and I need to concentrate on my assignment.
• Can you be louder? I need some background noise.
• I don't mind distractions; they help me think better.
• I enjoy the noise while I work on my assignment.

You told your friend private information about a big change in your family, and they told everyone. You feel betrayed and don't know if you can trust your friend. What I-Message could you use?

• I don't care if my friend tells others so you can keep telling others.

• I feel fine with you sharing my secrets with everyone.

• I enjoy discussing my family's changes with others.
• I feel hurt and betrayed when I share something private and it gets told to others. Please stop sharing my information.

​ Write an I-Message:

​ ​ (a)   am getting ​ (b)   because you are ​ (c)   . I want you to ​ (d)  

• I
• frustrated
• rizzing up my girl
• stop
• You
• silly
• happy
• being my friend
• being kind to me
• keep rizzing up my girl

What are two good reasons to use an I-Message over a You-Message?

• You-Messages encourage open dialogue and understanding.
• You-Messages help clarify misunderstandings effectively.
• I-Messages are moreeffective in expressing emotions than You-Messages.

• 1. I-Messages promote personal responsibility and reduce defensiveness.

Your friends keep stealing your lunch off of your tray without asking. What is an APPROPRIATE message.

​ (a)   get really ​ (b)   when you take my lunch because it is mine. ​ (c)   stop taking my food.

• I
• mad
• Please
• You
• hungry
• stop
• bruhhh

Which one is an I message:

• I think you should quite being an opp. Knock it off

• I think you are a liar and a cheater

• I am so sick of everything that you do. I don't want to be your friend.

• I am ticked because you keep poking me with your pencil. Please stop.

You-Messages are

• Funny

• Easy to say but hurtful

• Easy to say and get the point across

• Necessary

Put these in the right category

Groups:

(a) YOU-MESSAGES

,

(b) I-MESSAGES

,

(c) What even is this

• I hate you

• I feel hurt when you ignore me

• I feel anxious when we argue. Please stop standing so close

• I feel overwhelmed by the situation

• I don't understand this situation.

• Can someone explain this to me?

• What are we even talking about?

• I would appreciate it if you could listen to me. Next time, just let me talk.

• You don't care about my feelings

• You never listen to me

• You make everything worse

• I can't stand your attitude. Please be better.

• Why is this a thing?

• What is happening right now?

• This makes no sense at all.

What is the ABC model?

• The alphabet

• Action

  Behavior

  Choice

• Apply

  Behave

  Consequence

• Apples

  Bananas

  Coconuts