Chapter 10

What is a disagreeing message?

• A confirming message

• A message consisting of evaluation, strategy, and neutrality

• A message consisting of complaining, aggressiveness, and argumentativeness

• A non-confirming message

What do you need to do when you decide to agree with your critic?

• Agree with the facts

• Agree with the critic’s perceptions but not the facts

• Agree with the facts and the critics perceptions

• Be prepared to offer an apology

According to the text what should you do when you want to respond nondefensively to criticism?

• Seek more information and agree with the critic

• Ask for specifics, guess about specifics, and paraphrase the speakers’ ideas

• Make sure to use tangential, impersonal, and incongruous responses

• Be extra aware of escalatory conflict spirals

Brent wants his supervisor to know that the workload they assigned is too heavy to be completed within a shift. He doesn’t want to address the issue directly, so he opts for hinting and using sarcasm to let them know how he feels. Which format is Brent using?

• Aggressive

• Assertive

• Passive

• Passive aggressive

Which aspect of responding nondefensively does the following example represent?

Person A: I can’t believe you said we would pick up Sam on the way to the concert.

Person B: are you saying that I should call him and tell him he has to get there himself?

Person A: no, I just wish you had asked me first

• Asking about specifics

• Paraphrasing the speaker’s ideas

• Asking what the critic wants

• Asking about the consequences of your behavior

What are you most likely to do when trying to protect your presenting self as a person attacks your behavior?

• Engage in escalatory communication

• Be defensive

• Offer consequence statements

• Paraphrase the speaker’s ideas

Jane always feels good after she speaks with Professor MacLean, who listens intently to her ideas and speaks in a very respectful manner. Based on these statements which of the following best describes Professor MacLean’s communication?

• Engaging in what Jake Gibb calls problem orientation

• Using confirming communication

• Using intentional statements

• Sending face-saving messages

Which of the following is a consequence statement?

• When you don’t pick up the groceries like you said you would I feel frustrated

• You didn’t pick up the groceries like you said you would you lazy jerk

• You didn’t pick up the groceries like you said you would. Were you working late?

• You didn’t pick up the groceries like you said you would and now we don’t have bread or milk

  for tomorrow’s breakfast

What should you do when using the assertive message format?

• Deliver the elements in a specific manner

• Make sure to keep the elements separate and clear for the listener

• Seek more information before you begin

• Word the messages to fit your personal communication style

What is the most visible way that disconfirming messages reinforce one another?

• De- escalatory conflict spirals

• Aggressiveness

• Escalatory conflict spirals

• Complaining and argumentativeness