The New American Dream - Editing Questions

Mao wrote the following story about her favorite video game streamer and how he plays video games as a career. Read Mao’s story and look for any revisions or edits she should make. Then answer the questions that follow. The New American Dream (1) With Fortnite being so popular many people have wished that they could play video games all day long. (2) Tyler Belvins is a 26 year old from Illinois. (3) He has done just that by becoming a streamer on the video platform Twitch. (4) Don’t know who I’m talking about? (5) You may know him better by the username Ninja and he is the owner of Twitch’s most-followed channel with over 4 million subscribers. (6) On Twitch, streamers make revenue by having subscribers, being sponsored by companies such as those who make video games, donations, and running ads on their channel. (7) With all of those ways to get paid, Ninja is raking in over 500,000 dollars per month. (8) Let me do the math for you: Ninja makes over 6 million dollars a year from just playing video games! (9) Ninja takes this money and uses it for good by donating to charities and using his fame to raise money for causes. (10) Do you want to make playing video games your day job? (11) With all these skills and a little luck, you could be the next big name in streaming!

What change, if any, should be made in sentence 1?

• Change popular to populaer

• Change they to their children

• Add a comma after popular

• No change is needed

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Mao wrote the following story about her favorite video game streamer and how he plays video games as a career. Read Mao’s story and look for any revisions or edits she should make. Then answer the questions that follow. The New American Dream (1) With Fortnite being so popular many people have wished that they could play video games all day long. (2) Tyler Belvins is a 26 year old from Illinois. (3) He has done just that by becoming a streamer on the video platform Twitch. (4) Don’t know who I’m talking about? (5) You may know him better by the username Ninja and he is the owner of Twitch’s most-followed channel with over 4 million subscribers. (6) On Twitch, streamers make revenue by having subscribers, being sponsored by companies such as those who make video games, donations, and running ads on their channel. (7) With all of those ways to get paid, Ninja is raking in over 500,000 dollars per month. (8) Let me do the math for you: Ninja makes over 6 million dollars a year from just playing video games! (9) Ninja takes this money and uses it for good by donating to charities and using his fame to raise money for causes. (10) Do you want to make playing video games your day job? (11) With all these skills and a little luck, you could be the next big name in streaming!

What change, if any, should be made in sentence 2?

• Change year to years

• Add a comma after old

• Change 26 year old to 26-year-old

• No change is needed

Tags

CCSS.RI.7.10

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The New American Dream (1) With Fortnite being so popular many people have wished that they could play video games all day long. (2) Tyler Belvins is a 26 year old from Illinois. (3) He has done just that by becoming a streamer on the video platform Twitch. (4) Don’t know who I’m talking about? (5) You may know him better by the username Ninja and he is the owner of Twitch’s most-followed channel with over 4 million subscribers. (6) On Twitch, streamers make revenue by having subscribers, being sponsored by companies such as those who make video games, donations, and running ads on their channel. (7) With all of those ways to get paid, Ninja is raking in over 500,000 dollars per month. (8) Let me do the math for you: Ninja makes over 6 million dollars a year from just playing video games! (9) Ninja takes this money and uses it for good by donating to charities and using his fame to raise money for causes. (10) Do you want to make playing video games your day job? (11) With all these skills and a little luck, you could be the next big name in streaming!

What is the best way to combine sentences 2 and 3?

• Tyler Belvins, a 26-year-old from Illinois, has done just that by becoming a streamer on the video platform Twitch.

• Tyler Belvins is a 26-year-old from Illinois, he has done just that be becoming a streamer on the video platform Twitch.

• Twitch is a video platform where Tyler Belvins from Illinois who is a 26-year-old is a streamer.

• A 26-year-old from Illinois is a streamer on the video platform Twitch his name is Tyler Belvins.

Tags

CCSS.RI.6.5

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The New American Dream (1) With Fortnite being so popular many people have wished that they could play video games all day long. (2) Tyler Belvins is a 26 year old from Illinois. (3) He has done just that by becoming a streamer on the video platform Twitch. (4) Don’t know who I’m talking about? (5) You may know him better by the username Ninja and he is the owner of Twitch’s most-followed channel with over 4 million subscribers. (6) On Twitch, streamers make revenue by having subscribers, being sponsored by companies such as those who make video games, donations, and running ads on their channel. (7) With all of those ways to get paid, Ninja is raking in over 500,000 dollars per month. (8) Let me do the math for you: Ninja makes over 6 million dollars a year from just playing video games! (9) Ninja takes this money and uses it for good by donating to charities and using his fame to raise money for causes. (10) Do you want to make playing video games your day job? (11) With all these skills and a little luck, you could be the next big name in streaming!

What is the BEST revision to make in sentence 5?

• You may know him better by the username Ninja, the owner of Twitch’s most-followed channel with over 4 million subscribers.

• You may know him better by the username Ninja: he is the owner of Twitch’s most-followed channel with over 4 million subscribers.

• The owner of Twitch’s most-followed channel has over 4 million subscribers, and has the username of Ninja.

• No revision needed

Tags

CCSS.RI.6.5

CCSS.RI.7.5

CCSS.RI.8.5

CCSS.RI.5.5

CCSS.RI.9-10.5

The New American Dream (1) With Fortnite being so popular many people have wished that they could play video games all day long. (2) Tyler Belvins is a 26 year old from Illinois. (3) He has done just that by becoming a streamer on the video platform Twitch. (4) Don’t know who I’m talking about? (5) You may know him better by the username Ninja and he is the owner of Twitch’s most-followed channel with over 4 million subscribers. (6) On Twitch, streamers make revenue by having subscribers, being sponsored by companies such as those who make video games, donations, and running ads on their channel. (7) With all of those ways to get paid, Ninja is raking in over 500,000 dollars per month. (8) Let me do the math for you: Ninja makes over 6 million dollars a year from just playing video games! (9) Ninja takes this money and uses it for good by donating to charities and using his fame to raise money for causes. (10) Do you want to make playing video games your day job? (11) With all these skills and a little luck, you could be the next big name in streaming!

What change, if any, should be made in sentence 6?

• Delete the comma after donations

• Change reveunue to revenue

• Change who to whom

• No change is needed

Tags

CCSS.RI.6.5

CCSS.RI.7.5

CCSS.RI.8.5

CCSS.RI.6.3

CCSS.RI.7.3

The New American Dream (1) With Fortnite being so popular many people have wished that they could play video games all day long. (2) Tyler Belvins is a 26 year old from Illinois. (3) He has done just that by becoming a streamer on the video platform Twitch. (4) Don’t know who I’m talking about? (5) You may know him better by the username Ninja and he is the owner of Twitch’s most-followed channel with over 4 million subscribers. (6) On Twitch, streamers make revenue by having subscribers, being sponsored by companies such as those who make video games, donations, and running ads on their channel. (7) With all of those ways to get paid, Ninja is raking in over 500,000 dollars per month. (8) Let me do the math for you: Ninja makes over 6 million dollars a year from just playing video games! (9) Ninja takes this money and uses it for good by donating to charities and using his fame to raise money for causes. (10) Do you want to make playing video games your day job? (11) With all these skills and a little luck, you could be the next big name in streaming!

The author would like to add the following detail to the paragraph. Where is the best place to insert this sentence? Keep plugging into your favorite video game and focus on business subjects in school such as math and English.

• Before sentence 5

• After sentence 6

• Before sentence 8

• After sentence 10