"The Senator thinks we can solve all our ecological problems by driving a Prius."

"We have no evidence that the Illuminati ever existed. They must have been so clever that they destroyed all evidence."

"Either you love me or you hate me."

"If you miss practice, it means you were probably goofing off. People who goof off drop out of school and end up penniless."

"Smoking pot is against the law because it is wrong; I know it's wrong because it is against the law."

"People nowadays only vote with their emotions instead of their brains."

"My wife wants to talk about cleaning out the garage, so I asked her what she wants to do with the patio furniture, because it's just sitting in the garage taking up space."

"But, Dad, I know you smoked when you were my age, so how can you tell me not to do it?"

"Every time a rooster crows, the sun comes up. Crows must be the creators of the universe."

"I know this relationship isn't working anymore and that we're both miserable. No marriage. No kids. No steady job. But I've been with him for seven years, so I'd better stay with him."

"One day robots will enslave us all. It's true. My computer science teacher says so."

"I don't understand why you're saying I broke a promise. I said I'd never speak to my ex-girlfriend again. And I didn't. I just sent her some pictures and text messages."

"Professor, you have to give me an A on this paper. I know I only turned in a sentence and some clip art, but you have to understand, my grandmother suddenly died while traveling in the Northern Yukon, and her funeral was there so I had to travel and all the stress caused me to become catatonic for two weeks."

"Almost everyone at my school will be at the party Friday night. It must be the right thing to do."