Revising and Editing with RADaR

RADaR

Putting your writing through
the “RADaR”…

Open Ended

THINK & RESPOND:
What steps were taken to get from the
“before” to the “after” picture?

Replace…
•Words that are not specific
•Words that are overused
•Sentences that are unclear

Add…
•New information
•Descriptive adjectives and adverbs
•Rhetorical or literary devices

Delete…
•Unrelated ideas or unnecessary details
•Sentences that sound good, but do not make sense
•Repeated words or phrases

Reorder…
•Organize to support the purpose of the piece
•To make better sense or to flow better
•So details should support the main ideas

R=

A=

Da=

R=

Replace…What word/words
could I replace?

� As I ran to the finish line, my heart was racing.

� As I sprinted to the finish line, my heart was pounding!

� How did the writer replace the overused verb ran?

� What other replacements do you see?

� How did they improve the text?

Add – What words could I
add?

� Shadows made the night seem scary.

� Ominous shadows made the calm night seem frightfully scary.

� How did the second sentence make you

feel, compared with the first?

Delete – What words might I
delete?

� The candidates talked about the issues, and many

of the issues were issues that had been on voters’
minds.

� The candidates talked about the issues, many of

which had been on voters’ minds.

� Describe the revision you see.

� How did taking out unnecessary repetition of the

word issues help the sentence flow more naturally?

“Issues” was deleted twice.

Reorder –
How should this be organized for easier
understanding?

� Put the walnuts over the strawberries, which

are on top of the pineapple in a bowl. You’ll
have a delicious fruit salad!

� To make a delicious fruit salad, cut pineapple

into a bowl, add strawberries and then
sprinkle a few walnuts over the top.

Much

easier to
visualize!

Your turn…

� Use the RADaR method to revise the

following sentences:

1. She likes cookies.

2. My aunt drove her car.

3. He was pretty sure the skunk was hiding.

4. Mitzy broke the zipper. She wasn’t

worried.

5. It was cold outside.

Multiple Choice

She likes cookies.

Choose the answer that shows a good revision of this sentence.

• She loves chocolate chip cookies.
• She enjoys eating cookies.
• She prefers cake over cookies.
• She dislikes cookies.

Multiple Choice

My aunt drove her car.

Choose the answer that shows a good revision of this sentence.

• My aunt sold her ugly old car.

• My aunt drove her friend's car.
• My aunt parked her car.
• My aunt zoomed around in her new car.

Multiple Choice

He was pretty sure the skunk was hiding.

Choose the answer that shows a good revision of this sentence.

• He was 100% certain the skunk was lurking under the porch.

• He was pretty sure the skunk was outside.
• He was sure the skunk was not hiding.
• He thought the skunk was hiding.

Multiple Select

Mitzy broke the zipper. She wasn’t worried.

Choose TWO correct revisions of this sentence.

• Mitzi was unconcerned with her splintered zipper.

• Mitzi broke the zipper, she wasn't worried.

• Mitzi wasn't worried about the broken zipper.

• Mitzi shredded the zipper, but she was untroubled.

Word Cloud

It was hot outside.

Replace the word "hot" to improve this sentence.