CCEN4012 L8

Look at the introduction. Does the writer do a good job of introducing the topic and making it clear to the reader that this an important issue that needs to be discussed?

• Y

• N

Answer explanation

The intro is satisfactory. There is an attempt to show that there is an ongoing debate and that there is an issue because only a few countries are currently supporting same sex marriage.

How could the thesis statement be improved?

Look at the body paragraphs. Do they have clear topic sentences?

• Y

• N

Answer explanation

Clear but could be better written.

Does the content of each paragraph relate directly to the topic sentences?

• Y

• N

Answer explanation

No, not always. Par. 2 veers off topic in the last few sentences.

legal rights has nothing to do with the main topic, i.e. unsafe sex

Look at paragraph 3. Is the evidence appropriate and sufficient? Is the writer’s explanation of the evidence clear and helpful to the reader?

• Yes, yes

• No, no

Answer explanation

There is a lot of waffle before the evidence is introduced. Yes, we want to hear the student’s voice, but not talking at such length without providing any support. The actual evidence that does come is not clearly explained by the writer, which could cause confusion for the reader.

6. Does the writer include a counter-argument? If so, is it refuted?

• Yes, yes

• Yes, no

• No

Answer explanation

0. Yes, there is a counter-argument in par 4, as well as a refutation, but it was not introduced with a connective like 'however' or 'nonetheless', and the evidence provided are actually supporting the counter-argument rather than opposing it.

Look at the conclusion. Has the thesis been restated and have the main points been summarized?

• Yes

• No

Answer explanation

The thesis could be more clearly restated at the beginning of the conclusion and the writer seems to be continuing on with his argument rather that summarizing what had already been discussed

Which of the following(s) is/are inappropriate use of language?

• In line 5 of paragraph 1, the word “nowadays” is used.

• In line 2 of paragraph 2, the word “aspects” is used

• In line 11 of paragraph 2, the word “career” is used

• In the last line of paragraph 2, couples are described as “normal”.

• In line 8 of the final paragraph, the writer says: “homosexuality has become a ridiculous thing.”

The following is the part of a sentence is paragraph 2: “such as have access to partners health insurance, it is a right that normal couples have.” Is the punctuation correct?

• Y

• N

Answer explanation

This is a common issue with students: combining clauses with a comma when a connecting word or full stop is needed.

The writer has included headings for each section. Should you do this?

• Y

• N

Answer explanation

No, this is not a research report, like in EAP 2. And these basic headings are not helpful.