Understanding I-Messages in Relationships

Which of the following statements is an example of an "I message" in a relationship?

• "You never listen to me."

• "I feel upset when my ideas are ignored."

• "You always ignore my ideas."

• "Why do you always do that?"

When using "I messages" in a disagreement, what is the main purpose?

• To blame the other person for the problem

• To express your feelings without accusing the other person

• To avoid talking about your feelings

• To win the argument

Which of the following best demonstrates the structure of an effective "I message"?

• "I think you are wrong."

• "I feel hurt when you cancel our plans because I value our time together."

• "You always cancel our plans."

• "Why do you always cancel on me?"

If your friend interrupts you while you are speaking, which "I message" would be most appropriate?

• "You are so rude for interrupting me."

• "I feel frustrated when I am interrupted because I want to share my thoughts."

• "Why can't you just let me finish?"

• "You never let me talk."

Which of the following is NOT a benefit of using "I messages" in relationships?

• Reduces defensiveness in the other person

• Encourages open communication

• Blames the other person for the problem

• Helps express personal feelings clearly

How can "I messages" help resolve conflicts in relationships?

• By making the other person feel guilty

• By focusing on your own feelings and needs

• By ignoring the problem

• By demanding the other person change

Which of the following is the best way to turn the statement "You never help me with chores" into an "I message"?

• "I wish you would help me more."

• "I feel overwhelmed when I do all the chores by myself."

• "You are so lazy."

• "Why don't you ever help?"

When practicing "I messages," which element is most important to include?

• A demand for change

• A description of your feelings

• A list of the other person's faults

• An accusation