You should let me postpone taking the test today.  My dog is really sick and I've been up all night with him and I've had him since he was a puppy and I don't know what I'm going to do without him.

Does anyone want to be ignorant enough to argue against this proposal?

I was going to buy a Ford.  But then I saw that Nobel Literature Laureate Bob Dylan said that Chrysler is the superior American card, so I changed my mind

You're mean when you say that we should't give money to help third-world countries.  Therefore, you're wrong.

No one has been able to prove that vaccines don't cause autism.  Therefore, they must

The majority of Americans thinks it is okay to indefinitely detain questionable immigrants without trial.  Therefore, it is an acceptable idea.

Look, if you keep walking around telling people that time isn't real, you're likely to get punched in the face.

Annie's Mac and Cheese is made from all natural ingredients.  Therefore it is good for you.

Because millenials don't read books, we need to change the curriculum and remove novels, replacing them non-fiction only.

Because we need to think outside the box, students should dictate what should be taught to them.

I am disgusted by Tarrantino films.  Therefore they are immoral.

I know that school lunch is not the most appetizing nor always the most nutritious, but it could be worse.  You could be starving in a third-world orphanage.

Hannibal Lecter was a huge fan of classical music.  Therefore, you shouldn't listen to classical music.

You love watching the Panther's tough "D".  That's why you love CPI home security.

Your questioning of the President's policy in the Middle East means you don't support our troops and you probably hate freedom as well.

Anyone who voted for Trump is an unrepentant racist.  Therefore, I should protest my family Thanksgiving because two of my uncles voted for Trump

If I give you a break on late homework today, you're going to expect that I give you that break all the time, which will render any due dates in class meaningless, devaluing the entire educational enterprise of this class.  Therefore, I can not give you a break on your homework today.

On the way to school, I listened to Nickleback.  Then I aced my Physics test.  Therefore, I aced the test because of Nickleback, and will listen to no other music before any test in the future.

Many teachers enjoy assigning essays because many teachers may argue that torturing students is their job, indeed the very reason they got into teaching in the first place.  But that is horrendous.  No teacher should assign work for such sadistic joy.  Therefore, I shouldn't have to write my IA.

My opponent opposes this sensible gun legislation.  I guess he would like to return to the days of the Wild West, gunfights in the streets, showdowns at the OK Corral.

Burger King says "You can have it your way."  And isn't that what America is about?  The freedom to chase your dreams?  And my dream is to have peace and quiet.  So I'm perfectly within rights to shut you up.

You can trust me because I'm honest

We can either do our work now or fail the class

It's impossible to completely quantify what food is healthy for you and what is not.  The definition changes all the time.  Therefore, trying to set any standard is a futile endeavor.

How well has cheating on your Philosophy papers been working out for you?

There's a couple of Latvian families who live in my neighborhood, and they are warm, inviting people.  Therefore, all Latvian's are warm, inviting people

Myers Park is a high-achieving school.  Therefore, all students at Myers Park are high-achieving students.

Aside from the new car they bought me for my birthday, My parents have been nothing but tightwads in giving me money.

Each member of this group is wealthy.  Therefore, it is a wealthy organization.

The average salary in NC is $41,250.  So when Pablo claims he and his wife they can't afford insurance, they must be lying, as their household income as North Carolinians is $82,500.

The Browns haven't won a game yet this season, so they're due to win at some point.

In many ways, schools are like prisons.  Movement is regulated.  Meals are planned and timed.  But even the most effective prisons need to be able to effectively punish the inmates.  Therefore, teachers should be able to carry tasers and admin should be able to use solitary confinement as punishment.

Most of the time when I have to cover a class, I'm covering a class of 9th graders.  Eventually, I'll cover something else.

 Mr. Jenkins has to cover a class.  The class irritates him.  He comes to philosophy class.  He gets asked a question that questions the nature and value of existence.  It puts him in a nihilistic hole.  In the nihilistic hole, he decides he decides to take up surfing at this advanced age.  He takes up surfing.  He breaks his neck.  Therefore, coverage caused Mr. Jenkins to break his neck.

 If Mr. Jenkins has to cover a class, the class will irritate him.  He will come to philosophy class.  He will get asked a question that questions the nature and value of existence.  It will put him in a nihilistic hole.  In the nihilistic hole, he will decide  to take up surfing at this advanced age.  He takes up surfing.  He breaks his neck.  Therefore, coverage will cause Mr. Jenkins to break his neck, and he shouldn't have to do coverage