ASRT 180 - Types of Assertion

SITUATION: Your partner gets silent, instead of saying what's on their mind. You say,

RESPONSE: I guess you are uncomfortable talking about what's bothering you. I think we can work it out if you tell me what's irritating you.

• Basic assertion

• Empathetic assertion

• Escalating assertion

• Confrontive assertion

• I language assertion

SITUATION: Your friend asks for a ride home and it is inconvenient because you're late and the drive will take you out of your way. You say,

RESPONSE: I am pressed for time today and can take you to a convenient bus stop, but I won't be able to take you home.

• Basic assertion

• Empathetic assertion

• Escalating assertion

• Confrontive assertion

• I language assertion

SITUATION: Your classmate promised that he would get his part of the assignment done by Monday. It's Tuesday and he's not finished yet.

RESPONSE: I thought we agreed that we would each finish our parts by Monday. So far you haven't completed your section. I think you need to get it done soon, so we don't hand the assignment in late.

• Basic assertion

• Empathetic assertion

• Escalating assertion

• Confrontive assertion

• I language assertion

SITUATION: Your friend promised to come to a special party and then failed to show up. You say,

RESPONSE: I understood that you were coming to my party but you didn't come. I feel bad about not having you there. What happened to you?

• Basic assertion

• Empathetic assertion

• Escalating assertion

• Confrontive assertion

• I language assertion

SITUATION: You keep getting pestered several times this week by a telemarketer You say,

RESPONSE: This is the third time I've been disturbed and each time I've told you that I'm not interested. If you don't stop calling, I'm going to block this number.

• Basic assertion

• Empathetic assertion

• Escalating assertion

• Confrontive assertion

• I language assertion

SITUATION: You make a mistake with a customer's order. The customer yells at you and calls you an idiot.

RESPONSE: I understand that you're upset about this error and it has caused a lot of problems for you. However, please don't raise your voice or use abusive language when you speak to me.

• Basic assertion

• Empathetic assertion

• Escalating assertion

• Confrontive assertion

• I language assertion

SITUATION: Your neighbour in the apartment above you keeps having friends over until 2 am, even on weekdays. They're really loud and it's hard for you to sleep.

RESPONSE: When you socialize loudly until 2 am, it's hard for me to sleep. I have to wake up at 6am, so I only get about 5 hours of sleep each night. I feel exhausted the next morning and I have trouble focusing at school. Could you please quiet down on weekdays?

• Basic assertion

• Empathetic assertion

• Escalating assertion

• Confrontive assertion

• I language assertion

SITUATION: You are having trouble writing a paper and don't understand the instructions. You tell your instructor...

RESPONSE: I'm finding this assignment a bit confusing. Could you explain the instructions again?

• Basic assertion

• Empathetic assertion

• Escalating assertion

• Confrontive assertion

• I language assertion

SITUATION: Your co-worker keeps asking you out for a date, saying, "Come on baby, what harm can it do to go to lunch with me just this once?" You respond,

RESPONSE: I've already told you that I like our relationship the way it is. I wouldn't feel comfortable with any kind of dating relationship - and that includes lunch. Please stop asking me.

• Basic assertion

• Empathetic assertion

• Escalating assertion

• Confrontive assertion

• I language assertion

SITUATION: Your employee keeps coming to work late. You've talked to him about this issue before. When he comes in late today, you say,

RESPONSE: I thought you understood that work starts at 9:00 and I need you to come on time. I'd like to see you arrive at 9:00 tomorrow morning. If that doesn't happen, then we'll need to discuss disciplinary action.

• Basic assertion

• Empathetic assertion

• Escalating assertion

• Confrontive assertion

• I language assertion